I chose this verse to memorize because...
Every time I look in the mirror I see wrinkles on my face and neck. When did my hands get this old? We won't even mention the "muffin top". Maybe it has to do with my youngest graduating from college?
If I'm honest, too much of my time is spent obsessing about my physical appearance. (I think it's called bondage.) The time I should be focusing on God and serving Him is spent on my preoccupation with ...me. This picture reminds me of where it all began when I started comparing myself with my friends. They all had curls that were perfect (at least that's what I thought) and as luck would have it, on picture day mine didn't work, so my mom tried to help me make a fake curl with some bobbie pins. I still remember seeing that envelope with the cut out for the first time. I wanted to cry because it looked terrible. I remember the self-talk. It was not pretty. I so wanted to fit in, and this picture was proof that I never would. I was different. I was a fake. I was weird...blah, blah, blah.
Fast forward to 1993. I spent many hours trying to understand why my husband left me for another woman. I kept wondering what she had that I didn't. This morning I'm grateful once again that He will never leave me or abandon me and He thinks I'm beautiful.
To this day I need to remind myself that God looks at my heart and not my outward appearance. He wants me to honor my body, but not be obsessed with it. I hope one day I can accept these lines on my face. I am still struggling with the idea that they were caused by me wrestling with God for so many years and not believing Him. To me they show a life that was stressed out by trying to get the approval of man (and woman), not God. Of trying to fit in with this world, not His.
This verse reminds me of our friend Bev and all of the beautiful women who are fighting cancer.
I'm a work in progress and obviously I need His Word!
Love,
Angie xoxo
8 comments:
This touches me so deeply. Does every woman struggle like this? I remember thinking if my parents knew how ugly I would be, would they have wanted me. Now, I know how broken that statement is, but it was real to me then. Lord, help us accept ourselve exactly as You do, with love and satisfaction. Help us to look within us to work on our beauty. Bless us with the joy of knowing we are Your workmanship. And thank you for making us and caring about the details of our lives. In the Name of the One and Only Perfect in every way, Amen.
Great post. Really spoke to me. Just this morning as I was looking of pics with myself and my granddaughter, I thought, I need to keep me out of the pics! We are never happy with ourselves and my wrinkled hands don't help this.
Thanks for this verse and your words of wisdom.
This post so touches my heart Angie as well as Annette's comment. I remember having those feelings (still do) and need the reminder that He is entralled with my beauty!
Ang, I can totally relate to this! And, I keep saying I'm going to make this verse one of my memory verses, but then I end up coming across another one and changing my mind.
Blessings
michelle
Dearest Angie,
I LOVED your post. (For the record, I think your school picture is ADORABLE!!!!!) Oh, man, I remember some doozy school pics of me--especially junior high. Those were THE worst! Every kid should be able to go straight from sixth grade to ninth, don't you think? Junior high still feels like the worst time of my life!
Anyway, thanks so much for your wonderful truths about the utter UNimportance of our constantly aging bodies, especially in light of things eternal. Yes, I look at my wrinkled hands and think, 'Who do these belong to, my mom?' They're starting to look like her hands--and she just turned 96. haha.
And then -- get this. (I'm admitting it to BLOGWORLD) -- I found a long hair growing out of the middle of my forehead Wednesday as I was putting on my makeup. THIS IS JUST WRONG, PEOPLE! I am used to looking at my husband's forehead and ears AND nose. I did not know I was going to have to start checking my own forehead!!!
I am praying it was a fluke. I hope it was a fluke.
haha. I'm 60, and I find the older I get, the more I love to laugh and make people laugh WITH me. So I constantly tell stuff on myself.
So nice to meet you. I'll be checking back again sometime.
Hugs and blessings...
Shar
Isn't it funny (and not in a ha-ha kind of way) how we see ourselves. We know that God doesn't see us that way. We are precious chosen treasures to Him. And yet we still see ourselves with distorted eyes. I loved the verse and the picture. And for the record, even if I'd never seen a picture of you, I'd still know you were beautiful because your heart shines through your words!
love,
karen
Beautiful inside and out, you are.
There is a lot of transparency in this post and it hit home for me as well. Truth be known, I struggle with many of the same issues of aging as you do. I also struggle with self talk and preoccupation with how I look. I look at your picture and see your bright smile and think...now there's a woman who's got it all together and then you go and post something revealing that you are not different from me. What does that say to you? You are in good company:) We grow old and deal with the realities of this life as we go and as you say we are all works in progress and thank God he does not look at our outward appearance. On the other hand you have been blessed with a pretty amazing outward appearance from where I stand. Blessings my friend. I haven't been over here much and I am sorry. I haven’t been doing as much blogging as before. Trying to keep things in balance is not easy.
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