I have enjoyed my new photography hobby and sharing some of my photos here, but I haven't felt as comfortable sharing the "Pigtails" part of my new blog. I've had a mental block about writing. Tonight I'm going to pretend I'm the way I used to be and type without thinking too much.
For a long time I have thought women for the most part are basically all the same. We are all 11-12 year-old girls who want to be loved and accepted, but don't always feel it. I have talked with more friends who have admitted that although we are in our 50's and older, we are more insecure than ever.
In some areas of my life I feel more comfortable in my skin, but there are some areas that are still so much like that of a young girl... with bad pigtails. Do you remember her? Can you go there with me? Whenever I look at a picture of me in pigtails I remember her well. There are a couple of stories etched in my mind. I had no idea at the time that I would still be thinking about them all of these years later. For example, when I wasn't invited to the party at Patty Smith's house and my mother called to have me invited when I clearly wasn't on her list. It taught me a lot, but it did not teach me how to deal well with disappointment.
No matter how old we are, we still get our feelings hurt; I think it's more difficult to hide as we age. We pretend we are okay when we aren't included. It's so easy to think that when we are out of our family and friends' sight, we will be forgotten.
I have such a heart for girls who are in the awkward stage. I know what it's like to not feel pretty or smart or chosen. I want to wrap my arms around that little girl and tell her just how beautiful she is. I want to tell her that those times when she feels disappointed and lonely are times when God wants her to Himself. He is all we need. More than anything, I want to choose her to be on my team; the "A" team.
Who knows? Maybe those bad pigtails were a result of having so much fun that I didn't care how messy my hair looked. I'm going to go with that one. :)
My cousin, Lynn taught me so much about photography. She saw through my insecurity when I was sure my brain was incapable of comprehending how to take pictures in manual mode. She encouraged me so much and had patience when I asked her the same questions over and over again. She gave me my nickname and she indirectly named my new blog.
Much love,
Pigtails
Watch one of my favorite clips from Nottinghill. :)
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RESwG23_YGw&w=560&h=315]
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