I really want to get this one down on paper... ;)
About a year or so ago and thanks to facebook, I was able to reconnect with my old friend and co-worker, Linda. I attended her wedding in 1979. I brought a date to her wedding, but ditched him (I know, it was super mean and if my daughter did the same thing I would have been very upset with her!) when I met Linda's younger brother, Dennis. We ended up dating for quite awhile and he took me to my Senior Prom. He lived in Temperance, Michigan so I spent many weekend trips visiting him. I rode down with Linda and her husband, Darrell.
I grew very close to Dennis' family. I sincerely believe they played a big part in making me the person I am today. The kindness and unconditional love they extended to me taught me more than words could express. I swear, they have no idea the impact they had on my life.
Dennis and I broke up because well... I was a "proper" girl and we weren't on the same page; I'll just keep it at that. I remember writing in my journal how he had called me a "Jesus freak" after I had gone on a "Choice" weekend with our church.
He broke my heart.
It was one of the worst times in my life. I loved him and I really loved his family. His mom, dad and all of his siblings were so sweet to me. I spent a lot of time with his mom and she was the kind of mom I wished I had. My heart eventually healed and it wasn't long before I started dating my kids' dad... and eventually married him.
Fast forward to rekindling my friendship with Linda. Through the social network I was brought up to speed on her life. We exchanged messages and it was great. We met up last Summer after her son passed away. I took Linda and Darrell lunch and we spent a few hours catching up. It was as if no time had passed. It is such a gift to have people in your life who you cannot see for well over 30 years, but it feels like yesterday. What a Blessing! We talked about her mom, who was turning 90 and I told her I would love to visit her one day.
This past Sunday I learned that unfortunately I didn't get the chance to see her mom. She passed away on Saturday. I went to the funeral yesterday. I was so nervous and could have easily talked myself out of going in the church. I was worried that I would cry too much and no one would recognize me. Or I would appear to be a funeral-crasher. I thought it would be so hard to see the family... and see Dennis after 34 years. I didn't think I could handle it.
It was the weirdest feeling walking up to his sister and re-introducing myself to her. Of course it took about 3 seconds for her to know who I was, and she was happy to see me. I felt a little awkward, but she was still the kind person I had known all of those years ago. I saw Linda and when she was talking to someone else she leaned over to me and told me to not go far, because she wanted me to see Dennis and meet his family. When we went up to him it was the same awkward 2-3 seconds after I asked if he recognized me. At first he didn't, but when I told him who I was (first and last name), he smiled so big and gave me the biggest hug. I also met his wife and children. His wife is amazing. We talked like we were old friends. She told me that Dennis is a great dad. (Note to self: Complimenting your husband in public (especially to former girlfriends) is what you want to do!). I told him a little about myself and honestly, I was a little embarrassed when I told him I had been divorced. His daughter told me that she had met a lot of her mom's former boyfriends, but she hadn't met a lot of her dad's. His wife said that she never would have dated him early on because he smoked. He and I had a private little moment when I said that I was a little too proper for him. We both looked at each other and smiled; I think he knew what I was referring to.
The funeral service was at St. John's Church in my home town. Seeing his family walk up the aisle brought me to tears. The legacy their parents left behind was so sweet to watch. They are all so loving toward each other. I knew all of the songs by heart since I had heard them all growing up. When I heard the readings that were chosen to celebrate their mom, I knew right away that they described her perfectly. They also described Linda perfectly.
During the service I realized we are all family. It doesn't matter if we have the same parents. We have the same Father in Heaven who loves us the same. He is with us all the time and He gave us His Words to live by. I so want to leave a legacy for my family. I want them to think of these words when they think of me.
God really does have a sense of humor. I heard Dennis' daughter married a Pastor. Remember the "Jesus Freak" comment? At first I was sad, but it quickly turned into Gratitude. I realized I am so happy for him. I spent a lot of time going through the "If Only's" and I could have easily started feeling sorry for myself when I compared my life to his. God gave me the gift of Gratitude and Forgiveness. He also gave me the gift to have the ability to quickly work it out in my head and heart that... He works ALL things out for the good for those who love him.
I feel cleansed by the tears that had fallen all of those years ago, and again yesterday. I know the Reuther family came into my life at that time for a reason. God wanted to teach me how it feels to be loved His way. He chose to work through them and especially through their mother.
Proverbs 31:10-31
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
It took 34 years to fully reconcile my first heart break but I have come full circle and for that I am forever Grateful. I remember listening to the song I posted above many times back then. I still love Neil Diamond... especially when he sings, "Hello."
Hugs and Kisses...
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