On Friday...

Since my sister texted me that she is bummed that there was no "Thankful Thursday" yesterday I took it as a nudge from The Holy Spirit to write this post. You'll have to be patient here and read til the end to learn just what it is I am thankful for this day. You will notice something else, unless this is your first stop at my blog. When I share something that I'm a little unsure if I feel comfortable sharing or feel extremely vulnerable I will either quickly delete it or immediately follow it up with another post, picture or song. So, there you have it.

I'm almost fifty years old and am still wrestling with some stuff that would have probably been better to deal with when I was about twelve. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I think most of us women are going through life stuck at 12 years old. I have a soft place in my heart for girls that age. I don't know why (and it doesn't matter) God made me different. Growing up I had perfect attendance. I didn't smoke and I basically always thought it was important to follow the rules. With that came a lot of teasing, but there was also a lot of loneliness and a feeling that I wasn't very loved.

Recently I heard a comment that I haven't been able to shake. I heard with my own ears that indeed somebody who was supposed to love me really never liked me. Maybe it's true; maybe it's not. If it's not true, that's a pretty cruel rumor. It's weird how I have replayed that comment over and over again... in disbelief. Nobody wants to think somebody doesn't like them. Maybe you don't mind and frankly, I wish I was one who could blow comments like that off. I am also over-analytical and I wondered why they didn't like me. Was it that I didn't smoke? If so, if I started smoking would they like me more? Would anyone really stoop to that level? I'm not going to do that. Most of this mad thinking goes on in the middle of the night. See what I mean about being vulnerable? During the day I don't care but at night it's huge. So where do I go from here? For me (and I suggest you as well), I went straight to the truth.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (Psalm 139:14)

I am thankful for a few things:
1). I am thankful that I realize it's okay to be who God made me. I don't have to be someone else just to fit in. There is Only One who matters and I'm confident that I'm loved by Him, who was rejected by many.
2). I can learn to have more compassion for others who may feel the same.
3). I'm thankful that I know full well Satan wants me to believe His lies, but I trust God's Word.

I have so much more to be thankful for this week. This was in my backyard. :)