Delight (My notes)

I wanted to get my notes down on paper (so to speak) from the conference. I'll do my best to get these right.

Beth Moore stressed the importance of memorizing Scripture. She reminded us that He wrote it so we can memorize it! We need it!

She told us the meaning of Theodicy. I just looked it up in the dictionary again. It has to do with the justice of God. Will not the judge do right? God loves justice. In those seasons of doubt, we need to remember that God is good!

The theme verse for the weekend was Psalm 37:4 (The next verse I plan to memorize.)

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

The 7 main points were as follows:

1). Nothing dictates our lives like our desires.

Nothing moves us like what we want. At the end of the day, people do what they want! What is the difference between cravings and desires? When there are untended desires there is something driving it! (Addictions)

My prayer should be... "If there is Glory at stake, do what you have to do!" It is SO important to think about our longings and set them all before the Lord! She had us close our eyes and think about our heart's desires, our longings. My heart's desire has to wait. It is a sustained longing that is unaffected by mood or circumstances? Caaaaaaaaaake... I really crave it. I want it. Man... Some people want a man so badly. Perfection... Some want it so badly. We never do what it takes to get it. It takes time to wait! What is my heart's desire? What do I long for? At the end of the day, people do what they want!

2). Beneath the desires of our hearts is the heart of our desires.

What is underneath my desires? What motivates me most? When I die, what do I want my gravestone to read? What is my life all about? God takes his "no" seriously. Sometimes His Glory and Destiny is at stake. I need to look for what is present in the absence.

Every desire is something we lack. I need to know that He hears our longings. He hears my longings! He has not forsaken me!

3). Delighting in God adapts our desires into inevitabilities.

I was created to delight in a God who delights in me. Most of us think we can do it all by ourselves. Venti Joy with an extra shot = Delight! I need to pray for desire and for God to grant me a heart to delight in Him. If we are in long-term disobedience we become callused to those around us.

4). Nothing External can steal our right to delight.

Nobody can steal my joy! Joy is a smile and laugh is delight. It is always internal. No person can steal our joy. What is taking a bite out of my delight? They don't have the right. We need to look within ourselves. We have to look at our own JAW.

J= Jealousy.
Am I jealous of someone? It comes from insecurity. Am I jealous of someone who does well? When we are jealous of someone we tend to either avoid them or attach ourselves to get what they have secondhand.

A= Anger.
What am I mad about? Anger problem? Angry people use their anger to manipulate people, but it does not work. It emotionally distances us from the other person. Anger will never work to motivate someone to be more affectionate. It only causes resentment. There is passion associated with anger. People need passion in their lives. We were created to have a Holy passion for Him. He does not want to be #1 on our priority list in life. He wants to "be" our life! Grief is the heart of anger. When someone is grieving, it is easier to be mad than sad. We must be willing to cry.

W= Worry.
When we worry or fret it means to eat or gnaw into. I loved how she talked about a dog gnawing on one of those rawhide bones. She talked about how gross it looks when they are done with it. It is all slobbery and eaten up. Our loved ones are like the bone the dog chews when we worry. It does not change anything. We think it gives us control. She talked about texting and how it gives us a false sense of control when we don't trust people. But really it is an illusion.

Jealousy + Anger + Worry ... all steal our delight!


<----------------------------------------------->
Repression...............Real.....................Rebellion

Repression... When we don't want to talk about it. When we keep it all inside it makes us ill. It makes us sick. I totally believe it is the cause of much disease!
Rebellion... When we are ticked and act out. This will make us stupid!
Real... Instead we should be in the middle and be absolutely real with God. It's okay to ask why!

5). To make room for delight, we've got to commit.

Today is the day to commit! Not doubt. It's time to make up our minds to give all of our desires to God. Addictions take over our identity.

6). Nothing is passive about patiently waiting for desire to turn into delight.

We need to keep praying. We cannot give up. If we keep praying for our loved ones to... and they don't, it must not be their heart's desire yet! They just don't want our help. We need to get out of the way of God, but keep praying.

We also need to "Be still". It means to STOP. It does not mean to slow down or do something less, it means to STOP it... Be silent! Shut up! We don't want to be all talk and no hear. Before we try to pass it on we need to meditate on it and receive it! I should not be blogging about anything before I work it out with Him.

We should wait with anxious expectation. I want to remember what she said about stubbing our toe. We jump around in the pain and say, "This hurts, but I will trust you to make it better soon. I'll just praise you while I wait." God will not use arrogance or pride. He looks at our character.

7). Till faith becomes sight, trust God and do good.

My faith will become sight. We all want to be right, but He wants us to do good. We should not prove to people that we are right, we should do some good! Even if they don't like us. Critical people need more to do! We need to feed off His faithfulness and serve where we dwell.



I'm delighted to share what I learned!
Love,
Angie xoxo

**Update**
Commissioning by Beth Moore

My Dear Sister
God has not overlooked you
He has not ignored you
He hears every petition
And intimately knows
The heart beneath it.
Give Him full access
To all your longings
Pray every single day
To become a person who delights in Him.
When it seems to disappear
Remember to check your JAW
Are you jealous?
Are you angry?
Are you worried?
Roll it all on Jesus
He's strong enough to carry it
Big enough to handle it.
Trust God with all your heart
Now leave this place
And go into the world
And do some GOOD.

At the end of the day...

I'm trying to digest all Beth Moore taught us last night and today at the simulcast. I felt like she was talking to me, personally. I had the best seat in the house. I'm sure the other 90,000 women at 516 sites did as well. I'm drained, honestly. I want to "receive" it all. I don't want to blog about it, but "shut up", "Be Still" and listen to what He wants me to learn from it all.



"Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)

I'm Blessed beyond measure!
Only for His Glory,
Angie xoxo

Very Last Minute

If you happened to click over here from the LPM blog, it's true. I will buy your ticket to Beth Moore's Simulcast tomorrow night and Saturday morning. I live in Michigan and our church is hosting the simulcast at Kensington Community Church in Troy. Just e-mail me and we can work out the details. You will be blessed beyond measure!

Believing God to do something huge this weekend!
Angie xoxo

No comprehendo.

Sometimes I have no idea what God is trying to tell me. I know one thing for sure... Whatever it is, it's absolutely beautiful! I just know it! I also know... in His timing. I'm looking forward to a fresh Word from Beth Moore this weekend.



Grateful today for music to my soul... even though I don't know what it means.
Love,
Angie xoxo

quizzing myself

The dance

This is a rare weekend. We have three wedding celebrations. Unfortunately we will only be able to attend two of them. I'm hoping my family will forgive me one day for not being able to go to my nephew's party.

My favorite part of a wedding is without a doubt the father/daughter and mother/son dance. I get choked up just thinking about it now. This song gets me every time...





"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We love because he first loved us." (1 John 4:16-19)

I'm looking forward to the dance with Him... :)

Have a grateful weekend!
Love,
Angie xoxo

This is what I'd say...

Recently I got a couple of phone calls from friends and family hoping I could offer some encouragement to women going through a rough time in their marriage. They know I was betrayed in my first marriage. I've been thinking a lot about what I might share with someone, or wish they had told me when I was in the midst of that time of my life.

Here's my rough draft...

Dear__________,

First of all, I am SO sorry!

I will never forget the feeling I had all of those years ago. I remember exactly where I was standing when I heard what would change my life forever. I will never forget the feeling of a knife being twisted in my stomach. I was SO sick I didn't care if I ever ate again. I remember living on orange juice and tea. My parents came over immediately. Two of my friends also came to be with me and my kids. My daughter was eight and my son was seven at the time. Their affair had been going on for two years, putting my kids at 6 and 5 years-old. It took everything ounce of energy to go to the grocery store and take care of them. I wanted to hide in the fetal position forever. I heard the news just one week before Christmas and my goal was to make it through the holidays.

I know the feeling of betrayal well. I know the pain you are feeling. I know how it feels to get the news that he was getting married two months after our divorce was final. I know you don't think you'll ever be able to trust another human being on earth, let alone the man who caused you this much pain. I know you are thinking since you don't have trust, you don't have anything. I know you think your relationship will never be the same with him (or her). You probably don't want to see him again, or you don't know how you will ever be able to live without him. I know you feel you are on a roller coaster and want to get off because it's literally making you sick.

I pray you have some friends who will make a cup of tea and be there when you need to talk. I was blessed to have friends who listened to me cry for hours, days, weeks, months and years! I hope you are smart about getting the right kind of counsel. I worry that so many counselors encourage selfishness. (Maybe because of their own history- I don't know.) I don't mean to offend anyone, but I cannot stress the importance of Godly counsel. I hope they point you to Jesus. I wasted too much time not going to Him and believe I postponed a lot of healing. Don't be surprised if you want to pay them back by having your own fun. Just remember when you bring someone new in the picture, it complicates things even more!

I'm sure you noticed your self-esteem is bruised (shattered?). I'm not sure how secure and confident you were before this happened, but I can almost guarantee it's a lot worse now. I doubt he left you because she was more beautiful than you or smarter. It was all about him. And if he did leave because she was "all that", it tells us a lot about him. We all know that with age, things change and remember, beauty is just skin deep.

Be good to yourself. Don't expect to heal too quickly or you won't heal properly. If you continue to bump the bruise, it'll take that much longer to heal. One day you won't feel the bruise anymore. Don't let anyone try to convince you to just get over it (or that your kids will "adapt"). Don't believe the whole, "time heals" mentality. God is really the Only one who can heal and in His timing (not when your spouse expects you to heal). This is huge, don't let the person who hurt you try to tell you it's your fault. "If you hadn't ...then I wouldn't have had to go elsewhere." Or, "if you would have only ...then I wouldn't have had to find it in someone else". It was their responsibility to openly communicate if there were parts of your marriage that weren't working for them. While we're on this topic, I also need to tell you that the quicker YOU take responsibility for your part in the breakdown the better. Since we were the "victim" we could be too comfortable letting them take all of the blame. Some people make this a lifestyle. That's not going to benefit anyone. I would highly recommend you take a good look at yourself. Lets be honest, we did some things that weren't right. I'll tell you what I did. I did not put my husband #1. I let my family (my mom and dad) play too big a role in my decision making. I didn't want to disappoint them, so I disappointed my husband (and ultimately my children).

Trust. Can we talk about that for a moment? I need you to know that you think you will never be able to trust that person again. Well, the truth is, if you don't trust him, you won't be able to trust the next guy either. You'll take yourself into your next relationship. You need to learn that you can trust yourself and you can trust God to take care of your every need. I truly believe you can learn to trust your spouse again. It will take a lot of work, but you can do it!

I know you think this is too hard. I know you think it would be easier to just divorce this person. Right about now you think you'll be better off without him. But hear me out. It won't. It is going to be hard no matter what. You are going to want to cry and kick and scream no matter what! You'll want to tell your kids what a terrible person the other parent is. Just remember, the other parent is the only other parent those kids have!

It's SO much easier to have one mom and one dad. One set of parents to tuck the kids in at night and be with them when they are sick. One set to come home after school and tell them how "Susie" hurt their feelings or celebrate they made the sports team or got into the college they wanted. It's a lot easier to have your spouse with you when you are worried when your kid learns to drive and you hand over the keys to them, go on their first date and move them to another state. It's a lot easier to have your spouse with you when they don't come in when they are supposed to and you are worried sick. It's so much nicer to be able to see your kids sitting on their daddy's lap. It's a lot easier to have two parents for holidays so the kids don't have to stress out about figuring out whose "turn" it is to get them. It's a lot easier for kids to sleep in the same bed every night and not have to pack to "visit" the other parent. It's not fun to think about your kids having to see their mother or father with another man or woman and all of the competition. Or worse yet, learning that they are having another baby together and all of the chaos that goes along with the step-family. You'll have to experience the awkwardness of seeing your spouse with someone else at school and sporting events. Two graduation parties. Two weddings? Two birthday parties for your grandchildren?

I want to suggest that you do whatever it takes to get better so you won't have to be bitter the rest of your life. Learn to practice forgiveness. Spend your free time reading God's Word and listening to what He has to say about marriage and forgiveness. Study and listen to every kind of speaker you can who will encourage marriage instead of divorce. What ever you do, before you give up on your marriage, listen to this message from my favorite author, Beth Moore on Forgiveness. Surround yourself with people who encourage you and won't let you bash that person who hurt you. You can heal. Your marriage can survive this. It will take time and a whole lot of prayer, but I believe it can be done.

I know it might feel strange, but spend some time alone with God. There is no one on earth who will love you like He does. God will never disappoint you! Get on the floor and tell Him every single thing you are feeling. Tell Him how much it hurts and that you are worried that you'll never be able to trust again. Cry, cry and cry! Listen to some good music. Take a lot of baths. Get a manicure and pedicure. It's a lot less expensive than a divorce.

Dedicate your life to making your marriage better than it has ever been. While you are trying to forgive your spouse, be kind to him. Show him the kind of love you don't think he deserves right now. Can you imagine praying for this person and for the other woman who broke up your family? Ask God for a miracle and Believe Him to do what you know in your heart is utterly impossible without Him. If you're not sure there is a God, beg Him to show Himself to you. Keep praying to Him. If you do not own a Bible, please e-mail me and I would be honored to send you my favorite one.

I'm thanking God right now for being with me even when I didn't know it... and for giving me another chance to get it right with my current husband. I'm still trying to get it right! If He healed my heart, He can heal yours as well! You will find Joy again, and you'll feel SO good about yourself because you did the hard work. It will be SO worth it!

All of my love and compassion,
Angie xoxo

Memory verse #16

Here's my next Scripture memory verse.


"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Eph 4:32)



With love,
Angie

Gifts-music

61). This song, by Ingrid Michaelson "Can't Help Falling in Love"



62). "Over the Rainbow"

Gifts

52. Author Randy Alcorn's obedience in writing Lord Foulgrin's Letters.
53. Henry Blackaby's Experiencing God Bible study (pg. 231).
54. God's unchanging Word. I'm so glad He's not just a fad, or just for this season of my life.
55. Being forgiven again!
56. The comfort of knowing where our children lay their heads down at night.
57. Friends sharing their pool on a hot Summer day!
58. Being on a friend's short list of prayer warriors.
59. Birthday celebrations and no-guilt desserts! :)
60. And another song... "Unchanging".



With gratitude,
Angie xoxo

Gifts-More gifts.

42). The movie, "The Passion of The Christ". I loved my time alone, watching it Saturday night while my husband was at a bachelor party. It's still lingering.
43). Being able to give my niece her very first Bible with some good Christian music and the sweet text messages that followed.
44). Spontaneous pizza parties with my husband's family on a Thursday night.
45). Having my mom live 30 minutes away so I could take her to lunch on Friday, then have more family over for Sunday dinner, followed by...
46). Cooks Farm Dairy where they have the best Butter Pecan ice cream!
47). Dreams of living on a lake one day.
48). People who come in our lives who are not family, but give us those things we wished we could have gotten from our own.
49). A nice walk with my husband this morning before he left for work.
50). The song I can't get out of my mind after watching the movie Saturday.
"You Are My King (Amazing Love)".



51). And this one, too...
"I Can Only Imagine".



Have a great day!
In His Love,
Angie xoxo

Memory verse #15

Seasons...

I've been wrestling with God lately.

When I talk with most parents, they can hardly remember life before kids. It's true. I had my first child when I was 23 years old. I had a lot of life experiences before that time, but the memories are blurry! If I recall, it was all about me.

Then, when I got married and had a child right before my first anniversary, my life was all about my husband and daughter, then my son 13-1/2 months later. Life took on a new meaning. It was all about my family. I rarely thought about my needs. When my husband left for another woman I swore he could take anything ...except my children. As a result, I think I was overly attached to them. I'd probably be that way anyway, but I felt badly for them having their family torn apart. I felt it was my responsibility to give them the security every child deserves.

God caught my attention through my divorce. He showed me He could be trusted when everything else was crumbling. For that I am forever grateful!

My second child moved out of the state one week ago. I'm very happy they both felt confident enough to live on their own! In some ways, I feel my job is over. Well, I should say, my role is different. I loved every minute of being a mom!

When I look at my life in seasons, I had 23 years before kids, 23 years with kids and now God knows what He has in store for these next 23 years. I find comfort in the fact that He will never change. He'll be by my side throughout this next season where my focus needs to be on Him... and my husband. I admit I have been too preoccupied with my kids to give my husband the kind of love he deserves. I know I was supposed to make him my #1 relationship on earth, but when there are kids from a previous marriage, it's very difficult to do. At least it was for this mom. It's time to surrender my life to God again, to stop kicking and screaming and clinging to this past season and enjoy whatever comes next. I'm excited and feel His peace as I write this post.

So... my next Scripture memory verse is this:

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:" (Ecclesiastes 3:1)


Love,
Angie xoxo