Satan tried really hard to get me to quit reading the Bible Cover to Cover. I'm not sure if anyone noticed, but I didn't do my final post. I read the last week of reading but was not in a good place. I think it all began when I received an "Anonymous" comment on one of my posts. I tried to shake it but honestly, I couldn't. Satan used someone who didn't have the courage to put their name on the comment. I took it personally. That was just the beginning. I haven't been able to fully understand what happened since then. It was not good. I was telling a friend of mine how I felt when I needed God the most is when He seemed the most distant. I wanted to Believe Him but I couldn't. She told me something I hope to never forget: She said that God hasn't changed, it was me who changed. I was the one who was distancing myself from Him. I was in the middle of a war. Confusion and doubt overtook me. I had several situations that caused me to get on my knees. I. Didn't. When my faith was tested I failed miserably. I am still begging forgiveness. Satan wanted me to believe SO many lies. It is embarrassing to admit this to you, but I can't be fake on here and pretend things are perfect when they are definitely not.
I was going to write a final post for the year and it was going to be this: "THE END".
I had never read through the Bible cover to cover. My excuse for finishing the blog was because of the commitment I had made last year this time. There were so many opportunities to quit but something wouldn't let me. I now know without a shadow of doubt it was God Himself. There was so much I didn't understand and skipped over a lot but still learned SO much. So many times I felt inferior to the other women who seemed to "get it" and I felt there was a club of sorts and I just didn't seem to fit in. I didn't have any deep insights and the verses that lingered were the familiar ones that most have known since childhood. I decided I am going to buy a new chronological Bible tomorrow and read through it again with Karen.
In the final week of reading I had to read Hebrews 11. In there were the words that define the title of my blog. It came from my first ever Bible study, "Believing God". I find Him so amazing that during my most difficult week is when He chose to have me read these words.
By faith...
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)
By faith... I decided I will pick myself up AGAIN and Believe God to do the utterly impossible in my life. I am going to make a commitment to memorize some Scripture verses this year with a lot of the Siestas on Beth Moore's blog. This is something new for me. I need Him more this year than last and I hope to have some Scriptures ready when I am tested next time.
Happy New Year!
Love,
Angie xoxo
11 comments:
Love you Ang - and I aint afraid to say it - with my name in BOLD LETTERS!!!
You have been an inspiration and an instrument used by God for me!!!
Satan, get thee behind my friend! She is a child of God and you have no place in her life, her thoughts or her heart! I rebuke you in the mighty name of JESUS!!!!
There, how's that?
Ang,
I am so glad you didn't let the enemy win! I'm also going to do the reading again with Karen because I actually didn't join this year until around March. And, I'm doing the LPM scripture memory too.
Blessings
Michelle
I am so so so thankful that you did not quit girlfriend. You are an inspiration to many - no matter what the enemy would have you think - He Is A LIAR!!
I am so proud of your decision to continue to read God's Word AND memorize IT!! You will be So Blessed as you hide His Words within your heart!!!
I look forward to getting to know you better and spending time with you in His Word this year!
Love ya friend!! Cindy
Don't you ever, EVER let an anonymous comment trip you up like that again! That caused me to want to jump to your defense immediately, but I know we are not to take up each other's offenses. I just cannot imagine anyone having the gall to do that at THIS site. We have all had nasty comments, and the first time or two it hurts, but you can't allow a bad comment to somehow make you feel like a bad person. Satan did use that as a tool to drag you down, but you are not defeated, and I'm rejoicing over that. You are loved by the blogging community, Ang, and don't ever forget that.
Angie, just keep looking to God who is the author and finisher of our faith. Take every thought captive..remember this...you can not think two thoughts at the same time and when those doubts come in, start singing a hymn, focus on Him, praise Him and those doubts and negative thoughts will have to flee, because you can not think two thoughts at the same time. This is not easy but I've done it over and over and it works. You hang in there, keep reading the Word, He will not fail you nor never leave you. We are the ones who leave, our hearts truly are prone to wander, His is not. You are faithful and true and He is growing you and your faith is growing it is evident from what you write. Blessings on your new year in the Lord...
Oh boy, guess I missed this one Ang, hope it's not too late. I have been so blessed by you and your willingness to be brutally honest with your readers. I believe you are correct in your assumption that the enemy was out to fill your head full of lies. There are times when I have written on my blog only to be misunderstood. It is difficult when someone says something hurtful when you have been so open here. I am sorry to hear that happened to you and am glad to see you have continued with your blogging and have not allowed the enemy to have his way. God will prevail. What a fitting comment you make along with your memory verse following this post. Hurting people hurt people. You are a blessing. All around, a blessing.
Ang, I have been so blessed to read through the Bible last year with you! Your sweet, seeking spirit shines through! As I was reading this post, Micah 7:8 came to mind: "Do not gloat over me my enemy, though I have fallen I will rise. Thought I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light."
Amazing what the enemy can do to us with a word or look isn't it! Even more amazing is the Lord had you read one of the most powerful passages in Scripture at this time.
Ang, I so appreciate your honesty and the love that pours out through your blog.
Happy New Year!
Love, Annette
What a week...you did remember your first love and He loves you so. So beautifully written about the real stuff--that's why I love you most, sweet friend. Nobody has the right to take your joy away. Nobody. You are sealed in Him. Press on. I need Him every hour, too! Love, Annette
Angie, I haven't had internet access for the past week and I don't think this is my computer either (if it's a boy in the pic then know that it is really me---Bev---lol). I just read this and so wanted to respond to you sweet thing. You have blessed me so much this year with your presence, your humble childlike faith. And to hear you talk about God saying to you in Hebrews 11, by faith, that means so much to me. I have had similar stuff happen to me this year with blog comments and "in person" comments and God used it---just read a few minutes ago in our readings Gen 4:6 "why has your countenance fallen?" and it's so good to ask the right questions, isn't it? Wonder what it is I want more than His love when I hear hurting words...and I know. So I am praising Him over here for what HE did for you and in you and what HE continues to do and that is to bless all of us who come into your presence and are so deeply touched. Sure do love you. My privilege to have met you this year! You're awesome!
Angie, I could have written many portions of this blog. You did it. I didn't. You gave it your all. I gave in to my own feelings of I don't fit into that club. I read many of your synopsis and felt absolutely like God is at the center of your life!
You are a blessing to blog with!
janel
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