I was totally blown away by my daughter's response to seeing my husband and me, as we walked in and surprised her at her birthday dinner for her father's side of the family. Her tears of joy were priceless. It meant so much to her to have both of her parents there to help her celebrate her 30th birthday... at the same time. I will never forget the raw emotion. After dinner she told all of us that as she thought about all of the ways to celebrate this big birthday, all she wanted was to be with her family.
I had to thank my kids' stepmother for making it possible. I was so touched that she and my ex-husband hosted the beautiful occasion. They called us a month prior to invite us to join them. We were going to be the surprise. They thanked us for agreeing to join them.
Believe it or not, I had been waiting over 20 years to hear the words... "I'm so sorry." I heard those words in action the other night as we sat around a table and laughed and told stories. I hadn't had a meal with those people in many years, so it was especially nice.
As I reflected on the evening, the thing that hit me most was that for all of the years where we've celebrated holidays separately, it bothered them just as much as it bothered me. I had no idea; I thought they were okay. It doesn't matter how adult-like my kids are, they still wish they had an intact family. It makes me so happy that we were able to make a memory together for this one.
All of Us
Ali, Granny & Meghan
Meghan, Tim, Gail & John
Granny & Meghan
Lincoln, Meghan, John and Me.
Granny & Me
As we drove out of the parking lot of the restaurant we saw the most gorgeous sunset! I believe it was a God-wink.
"My chains are gone. I've been set free..." Thank you, God!
I was 22 years old when I married her father on June 29, 1984 at St. John's Catholic Church in Fenton, Michigan. She was born on Father's Day close to a year later in 1985. I couldn't have given her dad a better gift. We didn't find out her sex ahead of time (I'm not sure anyone did back then), so we were completely surprised to find out she was a beautiful girl, with dark brown hair. I had a feeling all along in my pregnancy that she was going to be a boy. I barely had any morning sickness and the pregnancy was pretty easy. We lived in Troy, Michigan and she was born at Royal Oak Beaumont Hospital. She weighed 7lbs 4oz. and honestly, I can't remember how long she was, but I think she was close to 19-1/2 inches. I got to the hospital at around 7:30am and she was born at 11:35 that Sunday morning. For a first baby, it was pretty much unheard of that she came into this world with such ease.
From that moment... my life would never be the same.
She was such an easy baby and slept through the night at around 6 weeks old. For that reason, we decided to have her brother just 13-1/2 months later. She was so happy and rarely cried unless she needed something. We took her everywhere and I'll never forget her sleeping through a Rolling Stones concert; I still can't believe we took her there! I remember my mother-in-law telling me right away that she was to be called, "Granny." I loved that she told me that, since my mom was called, "Grandma." Her Grandfather on her dad's side had passed away years before, and my dad was called, "Papa."
She was such a happy little girl. She was a little shy around strangers, but for the most part she was pretty outgoing. Her best friend was her cousin, Alexandra (Ali) who was a month younger than her. The bonding experience that her mother, Bronwyn and I had was one that will last a life-time.
She went to Clarkston Co-Op Preschool. Clarkston Elementary for Kindergarten. She went to Academy of the Sacred Heart from 1st - 6th Grade. Clarkston Middle School 7th-8th Grade. She graduated from Clarkston High School. She graduated from Michigan State University. She studied abroad in Brighton, England. She did her internship for Marketing in New York for Ralph Lauren. After college she worked for Ralph Lauren and Coach. She moved to California and works for 7 for All Mankind. I'm so proud of her!
In the blink of an eye, she is a woman. Today she is a 30 year-old woman. When I was her age I had a 6 and 7 year-old. I could go on an on about all of the great things she is, and she'd be mad if she knew I was about to tell you... she is so thoughtful, caring, loving, smart, confident, loyal, comfortable in her own skin, and I have to add that I think she is the most beautiful woman I know.
To me it seems like our age difference is shrinking. If she is 30 and I'm 53... wow! I have no idea what God has in store for her this next decade, but I just believe that it will be good. Real good! When I see her smile it makes me so happy! I am looking forward to this weekend and helping her celebrate with us.
Thank you God, for giving me the opportunity and huge responsibility to be "Mom" to this beautiful child of yours.
With so much love and gratitude.
By Faith,
Angie "I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High." ~Psalm 9:1-2
Too often when something is bothering me, my first inclination is to go to Google first and God second. Forgive me, Lord. I want answers and I want them now. When it comes to someone acting in such a way that it affects/hurts my children (I know, adult children) you better watch out! I am reluctant to share the details of what happened... yet again (after 18 years!)... so I won't.
When I typed in my "problem," Google eventually took me to Dr. Phil, and that's when I realized I needed the Great Physician instead.
"Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." -Romans 12:17-21
Lives with guilt from divorce.
Flawless by Mercy Me
There’s got to be more
Than going back and forth
From doing right to doing wrong
‘Cause we were taught that’s who we are
Come on get in line right behind me
You along with everybody
Thinking there’s worth in what you do
Then Like a hero who takes the stage when
We’re on the edge of our seats saying it’s too late
Well let me introduce you to amazing grace
No matter the bumps
No matter the bruises
No matter the scars
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
No matter the hurt
Or how deep the wound is
No matter the pain
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
Could it possibly be
That we simply can’t believe
That this unconditional
Kind of love would be enough
To take a filthy wretch like this
And wrap him up in righteousness
But that’s exactly what He did
No matter the bumps
No matter the bruises
No matter the scars
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
No matter the hurt
Or how deep the wound is
No matter the pain
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
Take a breath smile and say
Right here right now I’m ok
Because the cross was enough
Then Like a hero who takes the stage when
We’re on the edge of our seats saying it’s too late
Well let me introduce you to grace grace
God’s grace
No matter the bumps
No matter the bruises
No matter the scars
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
No matter the hurt
Or how deep the wound is
No matter the pain
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
No matter what they say
Or what you think you are
The day you called His name
He made you flawless
He made you flawless
No matter the bumps
No matter the bruises
No matter the scars
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
-Freshly painted walls on the interior of our house in gray tones.
-Thick, lush, green grass in the Spring.
-How our lawn looks since we finally cut down a very ugly crab apple tree.
-The fun we have moving our furniture around instead of moving homes altogether.
-Facetiming Meghan for over an hour the other day.
-Shooting a 90 (45-45) at Pine Knob Golf Course today.
-Spending time with old friends this week at Ann Adams' funeral.
-The way old friends pick up exactly where they left off.
-The feeling I get when I walk into "our church" in Fenton at St. John's.
-The contentment I feel all day long, after starting my day doing my devotional/journal.
-The relationship I have with my son and that he comes to me in the big decisions.
-Positive comments given and received during a golf game.
-Sunny Spring days.
-The lessons I'm learning by not buying clothes. I have to admit that it doesn't always feel like a gift. I thought it might be nice to reflect on some of the lessons.
I am learning compassion for people who cannot afford to buy clothes.
That I have a lot more time when I'm not wasting it by shopping for no reason.
That my self-esteem shouldn't be tied to my outward appearance.
That when I feel frumpy (which is pretty constant these days), it helps to smile more; it's my best accessory. Fake it till you make it!
That I probably shouldn't have made this decision right after I got rid of so many clothes.
I already knew this, but that it really is true: if you look good, you feel good.
I'm learning that although I used to spend a lot of money on clothes, I still didn't feel like I had anything to wear.
That less is really more. I can see better without so much clutter.
That it is possible to try on shoes, having no intention of buying them and it's perfectly okay with me.
That I'm the Queen of Justification. I have to catch myself when I tell myself, "Shoes aren't clothes and I didn't really say I wouldn't buy shoes. Or did I?" "What if I just buy one jacket that I can mix and match? I'm still doing better than I was this time last year!" "Will anyone really know or care?" "Would the world end if I had to tell people that I failed, by giving in?" "Is this just me being stubborn?" "Did God prompt this or was it just attention seeking stubborn behavior?"
That I'm saving a lot of money and used to spend $$$$ without even thinking.
That there are a lot of people (even in my circle, but I never knew) who don't buy clothes often and they don't think it would be hard for them. They can't even remember the last time they went shopping or got anything new... and they always look nice!
That as more and more time goes by, it makes people uncomfortable to even ask me how my challenge is going.
That I can lie to myself by thinking that if I buy something new, it would mean I am taking better care of myself and that looking nice is something I'm supposed to do.
That at times I'm wishing my life away when I can't wait until next February.
That I will never again buy two tops/sweaters/pants that are the exact same, but different color.
That it's fun to give compliments when I see someone looking especially nice.
That if my jeans are tight it feels like I have less clothes to work with as opposed to feeling good about my body image.
That I have plenty of choices.
That I'm cranky when I feel frumpy.
That I'm okay not shopping... so far!
Life is so good and I have so much to be grateful for every single day!
Woohoo!
xoxo
This song is dedicated to my dear friends, Ben and Art. Their mother, Ann was such a gift to me as a little girl. She passed away the other day after a fairly short, difficult battle with cancer. She was our neighbor growing up and since she only had boys, treated us girls as her own. She was the one who encouraged me to go into the health field and made me feel like I could do anything. She was more than a nurse; she was a mentor when she didn't even know it.
I will forever cherish the other day when Ben, Francie and her husband, Ed welcomed my husband and me into their home. Oh, and Ben gave me yet another chocolate chip cookie (Grin.). There was nothing like hearing those brothers telling the story of their mother's last months, weeks, days and hours. I could cry again just thinking about it. I loved experiencing her husband tacking photos to her "board" while adding in little comments, and seeing her beautiful paintings on display around the house. I'm so glad she was able to breathe her last breath surrounded by those she loved most, overlooking her cherished gardens on the lake.
I'm thankful that God hand-picked this family to be our neighbors. Ann loved her boys well and it was obvious as they took such good care of her until the end.
If I would have had the opportunity to stop by before she passed away I would have thanked her for the many, most amazing hot chocolate chip cookies. I would have thanked her for sending me the navy blue dress with the three yellow buttons for my first, fifth birthday party. I would have thanked her for being such a wonderful mom to Ben and Francie (Art) and most importantly, the gift of friendship and life-long bond between us.
So much love,
Annie
Ben is the handsome guy on the far right.
The East/High Street Neighborhood friends forever! xo
I can't believe I'm still learning at my age, but better late than never.
If we are upset and need to have a hard talk with someone, it's so important to stop and use the BRThRR strategy. So often I blurt out something without thinking first and later regret it. We must stop and take time to think, because it will help us figure out how to respond. Afterwards we must review our response. How did it work? Would I respond differently next time?
I feel...
When you...
Because...
I would like for you to:
Example: I FEEL sad WHEN YOU don't listen to my ideas at recess BECAUSE I have good ideas, too. I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO give me a chance to share my ideas.
God's Presence was heavy over the streets of Royal Oak this past Saturday morning. Let me explain why...
Satan tried hard to get me to miss the Mom Race 2015. Unbeknownst to me, I was scheduled to work in my dental office and got the call as I was about to walk out the door. And my GPS almost had me lost, which would have made me late. Have you heard of Mom? It stands for Mind Over Matter and it's a group that supports education and awareness of mental health and suicide prevention. I had never heard of it before my friend told me she was getting a team together to walk/run in honor of her nephew who had taken his life a couple of years ago. I think this is the third year "Team Kindness" gathered on a Saturday morning. At first I was planning to walk, but for some reason (think: Holy Spirit) I decided to run instead.
Almost every person I know has been touched by suicide. We have had several attempts in my own family and it breaks my heart. As a parent I cannot think of anything worse in life than to have to endure the loss of a child, especially this way. I know you would agree with me.
I usually always run with music. I am the type of person who would use the excuse of having a dead battery in my music device to avoid exercise, especially running. When I met my friend's daughter at the start of the race I had every intention of running with her. That is, until I noticed a couple of things: First of all, she was running with her friend... and her dog. Did I ever tell you I am scared to death of most dogs? Secondly, I noticed she had headphones in place. If she is anything like me, she was probably hoping she could be in her own world, listening to her own music (which I 100% understand). She is a real runner. She actually ran over seven miles to get to the race!
Long story short, I quickly decided to run by myself. I had no headphones. I prayed the entire way, reading the many signs along the way that told very interesting facts about mental illness and suicide. Most suicides happen in the Spring, on beautiful sunny days like the Saturday of the race; days full of the beautiful smells and buds on the trees and new growth. And hope.
I prayed for specific people and their loved ones. I was surrounded by people who would probably rather sit alone inside of their homes in the fetal position. That's how I would be or would want to be, unless I got up off that floor and looked up to the Only One who could give me Hope; the One who counts our tears; who wants to wrap His arms around us; who gives comfort to the hurting and can give even a hint of healing.
Each one of those runners/walkers have a story. I admire them for getting up off of that floor, tying their shoes and experiencing the love that was on the 3.2 miles of Royal Oak, Michigan. By the Grace of God I am healthy and somehow finished first in my age group. I tell you this because I am shaking my head. I barely even remember running because I was so focused on Praying. God gets every single bit of credit because he showed up big-time!
"Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." -Romans 8:37
