Especially Grateful

Since it's the last Thursday of 2011 I thought I'd summarize what I'm most thankful for this year.

I am most Grateful for:

My husband and his hard work to support us this year and the confidence he gained as "sole bread winner."
The birth of Angie's Temporary Dental Hygiene Service and all of the dentists who hired me.
That I had the courage to stand up for myself at the hearing for my unemployment.
That although I "won" my case, I still didn't qualify for it. (It was for my good!)
That my position was eliminated so I was free to be with Dave until the end.
For the three months we had to say goodbye.
For all of the lessons God taught me through the loss of my job and the loss of my brother.
That God counts and catches our tears and holds us close.
For the closeness of my siblings and all of the time we spent together.
For the extra Grace God gave me for some difficult people as well as the ability to forgive.
For the wrinkles that I'm slowly learning to accept.
Our health.
For my faithful friends who loved and supported me with unending kindness.
That the little skin cancer was so very minor.
That I learned to more fully appreciate every single day as a gift this year.
That I know in the depth of my soul that God is still good and I'm not mad at Him for anything.
For the dream I had over at Dave's that is still crystal clear after all this time.
For my sister holding me accountable to do these Thankful Thursday posts so I won't forget to have gratitude and to be intentional about looking for the gifts God gives me.
For all of the people God put in my path this year for a reason.
That my kids are both doing so well and still love me.
That we didn't get the lake house we thought we wanted.
For trips to Florida, North Carolina and Northern Michigan.
For celebrating 10 years with Lincoln and loving him more today than 10 years ago.
For the healing & restoration in a marriage of a close family member.
My cousins and their loving kindness.
For the birth of babies.
That Dave is with Vic, Dad and Mom and the knowledge that they are all with Jesus.
Singing songs of Worship that night with Pattie, Andrea, Chris, Stacey, Naze, Goose and Patricia over Dave's body right after God took Him Home. It was beautiful.
God's Word and my desire to spend more time with Him in 2012.

With Much Love, Peace and Joy,
Angie xoxo

My favorite song of 2011
"I'll Fly Away" by Jars of Clay

Another month after post, but this time for Dave.

I can't believe tomorrow it will be a month since my brother, Dave passed away. In some ways it seems like it went fast, and in other ways it seems like it was a long time ago. A month ago I was begging God to take him out of pain, but it didn't hit me until recently that the only way for the pain to stop was for us to lose him. It seemed like two totally different things.

It's weird having lost two of my siblings and both of my parents. I notice I keep doing this counting thing. When we have a gathering I'm trying to keep track of who should and shouldn't be here... or who is or isn't alive. We were planning on celebrating Christmas at Naze's house, but she asked if I would mind hosting it. I wanted to have it at our house, but her house was more centrally located so we were going to keep it close for the boys and their families. Anyway, I'm glad to have it at my house, but am having a difficult time figuring out who will be here.

We are all okay, but each seem to have our moments and at different times. I was in church this past Sunday and out of nowhere I about lost it. I heard a song being played that I had never heard before and it was beautiful. I keep thinking about Dave, and how he felt sorry for us that we had to lose him.

Lately I've been thinking (almost obsessing) about Stephen Covey's book, "7 Habits of Highly Effective People." I keep focusing on Habit #2 which says to "Begin with the end in mind." It's almost pathetic. Whenever I am with people I feel like it could be the last time I see them. If you told me a year ago that Dave would not be coming to our house for Christmas I wouldn't have believed you. A couple of years ago Mom was still here too... and I have pictures to prove it! Anyway, it's just weird.

My friends and family have given me so much comfort with meals, cards and messages. You learn who your real friends are at times like these. Their thoughtfulness continues to overwhelm me.

I'm trying to deal with all of this in a healthy manner. I don't want it to, as a friend put it, come out sideways. I don't want to stuff these feelings because I believe stress is not good for us and causes illness. I've been dumping my thoughts out on this blog for years now. I truly believe God was preparing me. I still trust His will. I know that I know that I know that He still has my best interests in mind and that He is with us every step of the way in this life. Satan keeps working on me to get me to question God and to believe I'm not a kid anymore and that I should be able to handle losing my brother better.

Anyway, it's all good a month later. Let's all do more than go through the motions this Christmas. Let's celebrate the Father of compassion and the God of ALL comfort!

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort," (2 Cor 1:3)

"He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:29-31)

Lord, please reveal Yourself to my precious sisters. Give them the kind of comfort that comes only from You. Wrap Your arms around them and hold them close. Thank You so much. Please help me get out of myself and give me eyes to see others who may be hurting as well. Lord, I pray for anyone who might stumble upon this blog who might be feeling lonely and sad. My heart is heavy for all of the people who are just "going through the motions" this holiday season.

xoxo

This is my favorite version of The Lord's Prayer by Johnny Mathis. His Christmas album was my very first and still one of my favorites today! Have a great weekend!

Much love,

Too many to count, really.

Because I have about 15 minutes left of Thursday, I thought I better add a few things I'm thankful for this evening:

~An awesome staff at Baylis Animal Hospital and the nice Christmas dinner in town.
~The invitation to a Christmas luncheon with an office where I have been subbing and a nice gift...Who would have thought?!
~Birthday breakfast for a good friend of mine.
~Dinner with Jenny last night to celebrate her 27th birthday and our special time together.
~Running into a friend in The Dollar Store last weekend and her idea for Christmas Eve.
~All of the wonderful Christmas cards coming in the mail.
~The message from my cousin, Susan.
~Christmas shopping in my new ride. :)
~Bunco with my friends the other night.
~Making plans to bake Christmas cookies with Aunt Eveline and her sweet messages on my answering machine.
~Having a nice warm house on this windy night.
~Feeling God's Peace when I could be stressed out getting ready for Christmas.
~The guy who is snoring next to me.

xoxo

Mom's Christmas Card

Lincoln and I had the best Sunday! We put up our Christmas tree and decorated the house. He was more helpful this year than any year I can remember. :) To you this is probably just another tree, but to us each ornament has a memory attached to it. I'm cherishing them more this year than ever.

I came across this card from my mom. When she gave it to me I had no idea how much it would mean to me today. I love technology, but I love a written note more. I loved seeing her handwriting. My mother wasn't a card giver so this one was extra special. It was so unique, just like her.

Mom grew up Catholic, so Mary was very important to her. She prayed to her so often. She respected Mary and really all that surrounds what it means to be a loving, nurturing mother. I hope Mary was one of the first people Mom got to see that day she went home.