What is the best job I've ever had?

 The best job I’ve ever had? 

Well, my first job was at Kandahar Ski Club where I got to mop the floors while everyone else was having fun skiing. It was one of those “character building” jobs; you know, the kind that make you want to get a profession. 

I always told my kids that since you have to work somewhere for (8) hours a day, you might as well do something you enjoy, and one that provides the kind of lifestyle you’d like to have. 

The best job I have had was when I worked for Dr. Tom Hopcian as a dental hygienist. Working for him was a true honor. He made you feel special working for him, like you were one of his chosen few. He had quality patients, who were a reflection of him and his practice. He was the only person in the world who actually got down on his knees and begged me to stay when I was going to leave. I will always have that image in my mind. 

I know few will truly understand, but I absolutely LOVED being a dental hygienist. I loved working for Dr. Tom as a dental hygienist. I think I’ll just rattle off a few reasons why…

I loved the one-on-one relationships with all of my patients and I miss those relationships all of these years later. I felt like I was good at my job. Not to brag but I scored a 99% on my State Board Exam on the clinic part. For the record, I squeaked out on the written part but passed, so that’s all that really matters. They never gave 100% so that gave me a long lasting feeling of confidence. Also, working for two periodontists as a dental assistant prior to dental hygiene school (Dr. Nick Gersch and Dr. Sue Doty) helped prepare me well. I knew what was under those periodontal pockets and I knew it was my responsibility to remove it. I loved the instant gratification (before/after). I also loved my challenging patients; the feeling of accomplishment when I was finished. 

I liked the healthcare part of it since the health of our mouths directly affects our whole body. I loved my schedule. I loved working for Dr. Tom because he didn’t make us rush our patients; he gave us enough time with each of them. He didn’t put on his white gloves and check to make sure we didn’t miss anything. He trusted we would do our best to give our patients the highest quality of care. He also never made us “sell” dentistry. 

Most people don’t understand the stress that is associated with our job. We have to have balance with our patients: talk a little, but not too much; stay on time; be a bit of a perfectionist. Dr. Tom came in to do his exams whenever he had a break in his schedule and never put us behind by having to wait for him. He always gave us raises without having to ask; he gave us .50 an hour raise every six months. He was very generous.  He was a good dentist and I appreciated his talent and his integrity! His patients brought us gifts of Godiva chocolates (unlike eggs from another dentist I worked for). I know that sounds shallow, but it just aligns with my personality a little more. 

I never minded the 30 minute drive to work. I actually missed the drive when I stopped working in Troy. It was nice having time to unwind or make a phone call. I never had to worry or even think about my job when I left the office. Some offices I have worked at made me feel stressed and anxious. Our office was clean. I loved working closely with my colleagues in the back room. We could discuss our difficult patients afterwards. I will never forget the Christmas parties Tom and Patty hosted. Dr. Tom was a class-act on so many levels. 

I was so blessed… I mean SO blessed to have a job that paid well and fit my personality perfectly. I was also fortunate to have my paycheck be a bonus. I didn’t have to work to put food on the table. I never took my job for granted. 

But… when I sit here and reflect on the best job I have ever had, I need to stop right here and change my mind. Honestly, the best job I have ever had was being a mom. The responsibility God put in my hands does not compare with working as a dental hygienist. It was hard… but rewarding. I am positive I made a lot of mistakes but I did the best I could. I couldn’t punch in and out and sometimes thought it would have been easier to go to work at an office with a lunch hour. I loved every moment with Meghan Elizabeth and John Arthur. I do not regret the decision to spend as much time with them as possible. I have to thank my husband(s) for making that possible. I do not take them for granted. I think being a stay-at-home mom is the best, most important job in the world. 

I am blessed beyond measure.

My Grandparents

 I cannot describe my grandparents because they were all gone before I was old enough to know them. Not a single memory. 

All I remember is hearing my Dad's dad died when he was about two years old. He didn't talk about him much because apparently it would make his mom too upset. My dad didn't really talk about either of his parents. I heard that growing up they weren't allowed to talk at the dinner table... and he never heard his parents tell him they loved him. It is really sad. I'm not sure when his mom died, but it was before I was alive or when I was a newborn. 

My poor mom thought she was responsible for her own mom's death and she lived with guilt her whole life. I am not kidding. Her mom (Matilda) died when she was about twelve years old. At that time my mom was probably hormonal and said she wished her mom would just die. And she did. She was the baby of the family by ten years. Actually, my dad was also a baby by ten years. They were both "bonus" children, although I don't think they thought about it that way back then. I'm sure there was some sibling rivalry because they may have been a bit spoiled (well, for sure my mom, but not so sure about my dad). I think there was a wicked stepmother when her dad remarried. I heard stories that that was one of the reasons my parents married so young; she wanted to get out of the house because of her. I'm not sure when her dad passed away either, but before I was old enough to remember.

I always wished I had grandparents in my life. Friends always seemed to talk so highly about theirs and I feel like I missed out on something important because I didn't have any. I think that's why I want to be in my grandchildren's life. 

My mom wasn't the super nice kind of grandmother I wished she would be with my kids. I can't blame her though, because she didn't know what she was doing. She did the best she could. I don't remember her baking cookies with them, or spending a lot of quality time with them. Although Grandma and Papa did take each of the grandchildren on a 6-year-trip which was a week-long vacation. Meghan wanted to come home early from hers since she missed me and my mom loved that she wanted to "smell" me. My dad, Papa was quiet and reserved and a man of few words. Honestly, I don't think my mom let him get a word in edgewise. Again, they did the best they could. 

At the time of this writing I have two grandsons who live in Seattle. Ford will be five on Halloween and Rudy will be three on October 10th. Luckily I am able to see them quite often and I hope they'll remember me and that I'll be the kind of grandmother I wish I had. So far, I think it's going well. 

If you are reading this I hope you spend a lot of time with your grandparents when you have the opportunity. And really listen to their stories because later you'll wish you did, and it might be too late. And, after they are gone... keep talking about them and keep their memory alive. 

My Childhood Vacations

 The most memorable vacations from my childhood involved camping and rain in a station wagon without seatbelts and sitting on the hump. My first plane ride was when I was eighteen years old when I went with my brother, Chris to visit my brother, Dave and his wife, Connie in Texas. But back to the camping...

The most memorable camping trip was when our family of nine went to Florida. I was young, so I don't remember all where we went, but I can picture the long yellow tent we had. There was always sand in it and I'm pretty sure it was hot and I could always hear mosquitoes buzzing in my ear and having to go to community bathrooms. But most of all, I remember it being fun. One memorable thing about that trip is that my oldest sister, Vic, had crocheted a bikini bathing suit and my dad flipped out. 

I also remember going to the sand dunes a lot. We had old videos of us running down the hill and we had a blast. It was pretty funny how our mom dressed us three little girls in matching pajamas and they were super cute. 

I'm not sure when we graduated to the kind of camper that the sides slid out. Again, my memory involves rain and sand and mosquitoes and a lot of fun! We camped on Easter but I have no recollection of where we camped, but it usually rained. I am NOT complaining; it was a simple life. There is nothing quite like camping. I love sitting by the fire at night and waking up to the smell of bacon cooking in the morning. 

Oh, a fun memory I just remembered is when we rented a houseboat and took it to Lake Cumberland with Aunt Winnie and Uncle Joe. I think the older kids were out of the house, so it was just my sister, DeNaze and Mary (Goose). Nase, did you go? Pretty sure you did. ;) Anyway, I think it was a week long trip. We stopped along the shore at night and it was awesome! 

Our parents loved to take cruises and oftentimes left us kids alone. That would never fly these days! Whatever the case, I am positive that their love of travel passed down to me, because as an adult I have traveled to many many wonderful places and I am very blessed. I will continue to travel until I can't. 

Hopefully I won't be camping though. 

Songs bring back Memories

 I love music. When I was in high school I always fell asleep to it and woke up when a favorite song came on my radio sitting on the table next to my bed. To this day I still love music and songs can take me right back to where I was back then. During stressful times I could hide away in the music even when they were played on the lowest volume. 

The first song of my first memory is "Brand New Key" by Melanie. We lived on East Street in Fenton and I remember hearing it. I still love it and it's always part of our "dance parties." 

I love turning love songs into Christian songs and making them into love songs from God to me. 

I  love hearing people's favorite songs and making playlists of my music every year. When I am on my deathbed there better be music playing constantly.

I think I'll list a few songs with the memories attached (In no particular order):

If You Leave Me Now... by Chicago (Dave Lamb from high school told me to always think of him when I hear it after I broke up with him. He got his next girlfriend pregnant. I still think of him every single time.)

Do Ya Think I'm Sexy... by Rod Stewart. It was a song that Colin Grahl sang to me over the phone and all of my friends had fun with it, especially at the prom. :)

Babe... by Styx. My break-up song when Dennis Reuther broke up with me... Most likely because I told him I would only have sex with my spouse. I loved his family a lot and his mom taught me so much about life and was so very special to me. I always think of him when I hear that song. 

The Greatest Love of All... by Whitney Houston. I still feel badly because for some reason I felt the need to steal the c.d. from my employer. I cannot believe I did it. That song fed my soul after a "Choice" weekend retreat. I still love the lyrics. Imagine stealing a c.d. after a church retreat. OMG. 

Time After Time... by Placido Domingo The song I danced to with my first husband at our wedding.

The Greatest Discovery... by Elton John reminds me of when I just had John and introduced Meghan to him.

Leaving on a Jet Plane... by Peter, Paul and Mary reminds me of the morning my sister, Vic passed away. I had to tell Mom and Dad that she died. She paved the way and taught me NOT to be afraid to die. 

Angie... by The Rolling Stones... a lot of memories. A ton of memories. 

Just for You... by REO Speedwagon. My first date with my husband when we went to their concert and it was the song we danced to at our wedding. We had a rocky start. We dated for two years and were engaged for two years before we got married. 

In Christ Alone... The song reminds me of my first Bible study with Beth Moore and even though she doesn't know me, she taught me to trust in God alone. We played it at my mom's funeral too. 

Sunshine on My Shoulders by John Denver will always make me think of my friend, Reg... who just one week before she had her stroke told me she wants it played at her funeral. 

I could go on with the memories forever. It seems all music brings back memories in a deep way. I cannot imagine life without music.

My Favorite Store As A Kid

When I was a little girl I loved candy. As luck would have it my parents had us run down to John Grier's Store to buy them a pack of cigarettes (this would never happen these days!) and they had a great selection of candy. It was when we lived on the corner of East and High Street in Fenton. I think it was a little thank- you gift/bribe to be able to buy a piece of candy for myself (but did I really have a choice; I think not!). I can't imagine how it would have gone if I refused to do it. I probably wouldn't be living to tell this story; funny-not funny!

 If you asked if I ever stole anything in my life, I would have to tell you that I did it twice. Maybe I'll tell you about the other thing I stole later (insert wink emoji). Once I stole a candy bar from a store that was by the old high school (can't remember the name) and I got caught. Anyway, I blocked out the memory about how it was handled, but the punishment must have worked because I still remember it all of these years later. I'm pretty sure it was a Snickers bar, which was my favorite. Truth be told I am not picky. 

To this day I still love candy... any kind of candy and I have to fight the temptation more often than you can imagine. Good thing I decided to become a dental hygienist!

Keepsakes + Family Heirlooms

The first question in my book was centered around keepsakes and family heirlooms and I find it pretty funny. Anyone who knows me well knows I don't like to save a lot of stuff, and I enjoy purging more than collecting. I have been known to say, "If I can't wear it or eat it I don't need it." To date I have lived in the same house for 38 years. It could be filled with a ton of extra stuff but I'm pretty much a minimalist and can't handle a lot of extra stuff. I have several bins of photos though, and that stresses me out. 

 I think previous generations cared more about keepsakes than mine and I'm pretty sure it's because they have lived through a Depression and they really know the value of a dollar. My dad collected elephants and my mom gave me a fancy cream and sugar (another story!) that she loved more than me. Now that they are gone, I like them a little more but don't tell anyone... I don't hold them near to my heart. I love that they loved them though. 

 I have decided that at 62 years old, I only want to be surrounded by things that bring me Joy. I remember several years ago challenging myself to not buy any clothing for a solid year. I kept my promise to myself and only broke it once and it was worth it. I had to go to my daughter Meghan's surprise 30th birthday party hosted by my ex-husband and his wife. Trust me when I say that I had to look and feel my best that day. I bought a jumpsuit that I wore several different ways. But all in all I enjoyed the challenge and found it pretty easy. 

 If I really think about family heirlooms, I'm hoping my gold bracelet turns into one and gets passed down to Meghan and I'm hoping John will want a diamond for someone special one day. But again, these are just "things." I read this question the other day and tried hard thinking about something that really means a lot to me. I love the baby ring with Meghan's initials on it and I love John's Hustle Award that he received at basketball camp. I think they might have both already taken them and they aren't even mine anyway. Ha! If the house was on fire I would try my hardest to get my first Bible with all of my notes in it. The binding is shattered and it is held together by some Michigan State tape.

Words of Wisdom ;)

One more post for today... Just a reminder...

If you have a drawer full of luxury candles... USE THEM! Please don't save them. Do the same with all of the other nice things you own. Don't save those special shoes or sweaters. Don't buy a lot of clothes... Buy a few cashmere sweaters and wear them over and over and over again. They are amazing! Use your nice dishes... Always!

Drink Champagne... on a Thursday night!

Adorbs

My Grandson's are 4.5 and 2.5 The last time I was in Seattle to see them, they said a couple of the cutest things ever...

F. (4.5)said, "Ridiclius... Re-dick-li-ous." He couldn't get the word, ridiculous no matter how many times he tried. It was so cute. He and I love to go to Target when I go see him. We were lucky enough to have a whole day, just the two of us. Somehow my GPS took us downtown to a Target that was in a little sketchy area. Since I (and his mom!!) were a little worried I quickly wanted to leave. I didn't want to worry him, so I just said we weren't "fans" of that one because they didn't have a good toy selection. It probably wasn't the greatest word to teach him, but I was nervous... to say the least!

R. (2.5) said in a deep, somewhat angry voice, "Those are your choices!!" (while pointing his finger). He was referring to his mom asking what he wanted for breakfast or lunch. It was priceless.

I couldn't love those little boys more. My daughter makes me feel like we live across the street from each other, and not across the country!

Second chances

If I could do it all over again...

I wish I was a Peloton instructor who travels around the world with a bike and a Go Pro. When I don't feel like jumping on mine (as I don't right now!), it seems a ride somewhere far away gives me the motivation I need.

If you could do anything you wanted, what would you do if money and location was no concern? I love that question.

Why not do it? Let's really think about it.

Embrace the wrinkles (Perhaps I should change the name of this blog?)

Does this happen to you? My husband takes a lot of pictures of me. Isn't that sweet? I get so critical when he shows them to me. At the time they were taken I didn't like the pictures of myself for whatever reason (mainly wrinkles + chubby cheeks). But a year later I think, "Wow, I looked okay back then." Next year this time will I think I looked better last year!

Trust me... Embrace wherever you are today. You are beautiful and you'll look back next year and think the same thing!

RIP My kid's Dad

I'm so out of practice writing that I don't even know where to begin. This is going to be messy. I'm not writing this for anyone but myself. Perhaps maybe when I'm long gone, my kids and grandkids might stumble upon it.

I never would have thought a song would be the "sign" I was looking for/ praying for/ begging God for a month ago when my kid's dad passed away. He and I divorced twenty eight years ago; we got married forty years ago, and we were married for twelve years.

I honestly didn't dwell on this and it rarely came to mind, but somewhere deep down I had this fantasy that I was sure I was going to be the last person on earth he would want to talk to before he took his last breath. I just knew he wanted to tell me how sorry he was for... everything. Yes, I had gone through counseling years and years and years ago. I learned to understand to the best of my ability all of the reasons it had to happen. Yes, there were many lessons and yes, I take responsibility for my part.

As it turns out, I don't think I was on his radar. At. All. He was able to say goodbye to our kids on the phone. He also spoke with the rest of his loved ones. That was a sweet blessing for him and for them. God gave them the sweetest gift! I talked with my daughter right after she said goodbye to him. I felt so badly for her!

I felt like I had one chance to tell him a few things myself, so I called his wife and asked to talk with him. She told me he was sleeping and I asked if she would please put the phone up to his ear. It was the ugliest, hardest, messiest thing I have had to do in my life. Looking back it felt like I was in a movie. I told him everything I needed to say. And I told him I forgave him. His wife said he opened his eyes a little bit. I am so glad I made that call. He passed away about an hour later. I have no idea if he heard a single word of it, or if he talked with anyone after me. I needed him to go in Peace. He was good to me even though things turned out the way they did. I am glad he didn't have to think of something profound to tell me. I wondered though... did he have any regrets? I will never know.

My kids and I spent the next few days sharing photos. They wanted pictures of themselves with their dad when they were young. Looking through the bins of photos brought back so many memories. The history we had together during the most special time of my life, having our kids together and those early years were precious. A lot of healing took place in the basement sorting through those pictures.

I had a hard time trying to keep all of the thoughts to myself. It is complicated when you're remarried. Thank God my husband was pretty understanding. I needed to process it all.

Since he was in Tuscon, my daughter and her family are in Seattle, and my son is in Denver I didn't know how to "be there" for any of them. Also, when you are the only parent left there is a sense of responsibility unlike anything I have known, so I want to handle this the best way I know. I quicky bought plane tickets to be with both of my kids separately.

When I was on the plane on my way home from Seattle I think I got a "sign" from him. Looking out the window a song came on my playlist that I had just added recently from a trip to Holland with friends. It was a gift for just me and brought tears to my eyes. I had never really heard the song before, so the words were precious to me. I don't even know if I believe in "signs" but I'm going to accept it anyway.

I really wish there was some kind of rule book for when you are divorced from you kid's other parent and they pass away. You feel like such an outsider. You hear bits and pieces from your kids. You only want to be caring, loving and supportive. You grieved their loss years ago. It brings back so many complicated emotions, and it definitely brings closure.

Here it is...

Windows Are Rolled Down

Look up child, the world is born Shoe's untied, and your soles are worn Windows are rolled down Sun is setting high Windows are rolled down I'm fixin' to die

Corn rows have companion feel This rocky road and this steering wheel Who do you call to ease your pain? I hope for you to get through this rain

Windows are rolled down Moon is hanging low Windows are rolled down Think it's time for me to go, hey-ay-ay-aaah-ay

Is it what you dreamed it'd be? Are you locked up in this fantasy? Oh, these miles that have torn us apart My new found faith and my broken heart

Windows are rolled down Sun is rising high Windows are rolled down Feel that wind rushing by, hey-ay-ay-aaah

Windows are rolled down

I'm sure I'm the only one who "gets it.":)

RIP "Babers"

She's baaccckk... ;)

Okay, it's time to get back to blogging... and especially being intentional about counting my blessings. This is a great little space to get some things out of my head and on paper. It's the second of February and I can't think of a better day to start than today... or maybe tomorrow since I spent too much time trying to get a better look. As you can see, it's just as plain... and I'm trying not to care. ;)