My Grandparents

 I cannot describe my grandparents because they were all gone before I was old enough to know them. Not a single memory. 

All I remember is hearing my Dad's dad died when he was about two years old. He didn't talk about him much because apparently it would make his mom too upset. My dad didn't really talk about either of his parents. I heard that growing up they weren't allowed to talk at the dinner table... and he never heard his parents tell him they loved him. It is really sad. I'm not sure when his mom died, but it was before I was alive or when I was a newborn. 

My poor mom thought she was responsible for her own mom's death and she lived with guilt her whole life. I am not kidding. Her mom (Matilda) died when she was about twelve years old. At that time my mom was probably hormonal and said she wished her mom would just die. And she did. She was the baby of the family by ten years. Actually, my dad was also a baby by ten years. They were both "bonus" children, although I don't think they thought about it that way back then. I'm sure there was some sibling rivalry because they may have been a bit spoiled (well, for sure my mom, but not so sure about my dad). I think there was a wicked stepmother when her dad remarried. I heard stories that that was one of the reasons my parents married so young; she wanted to get out of the house because of her. I'm not sure when her dad passed away either, but before I was old enough to remember.

I always wished I had grandparents in my life. Friends always seemed to talk so highly about theirs and I feel like I missed out on something important because I didn't have any. I think that's why I want to be in my grandchildren's life. 

My mom wasn't the super nice kind of grandmother I wished she would be with my kids. I can't blame her though, because she didn't know what she was doing. She did the best she could. I don't remember her baking cookies with them, or spending a lot of quality time with them. Although Grandma and Papa did take each of the grandchildren on a 6-year-trip which was a week-long vacation. Meghan wanted to come home early from hers since she missed me and my mom loved that she wanted to "smell" me. My dad, Papa was quiet and reserved and a man of few words. Honestly, I don't think my mom let him get a word in edgewise. Again, they did the best they could. 

At the time of this writing I have two grandsons who live in Seattle. Ford will be five on Halloween and Rudy will be three on October 10th. Luckily I am able to see them quite often and I hope they'll remember me and that I'll be the kind of grandmother I wish I had. So far, I think it's going well. 

If you are reading this I hope you spend a lot of time with your grandparents when you have the opportunity. And really listen to their stories because later you'll wish you did, and it might be too late. And, after they are gone... keep talking about them and keep their memory alive.