I'm trying, sis

I have so much to be Thankful for this evening...

-moving trucks heading north with my son and his belongings

-text messages that force me to look for ways He loves me 

-airplanes heading west, carrying daughters home for the holidays tomorrow

-brunch with my girlfriends and making memories

-success with making my very own quiche all from scratch

-that I didn't freak out as badly this time

-dinners with girlfriends in town for the holidays

-family recipes shared by my cousins (milk toast & meat pies)
-little gifts from co-workers

-that when a friend is burdened by something my heart is broken too (sort of thankful)

-finding special notes in my deceased family members' handwriting

-jeans that are especially comfortable today

-Josh's phone message explaining why he and his family can't be here for Christmas

-money for Christmas gifts

-that we have a nice home to host Christmas

-people who lovingly mentor my children

-early morning coffee with John

-chili

-Christmas card photos
-there are a zillion more things I should be listing but I'm paralyzed...

I totally believe being thankful has many, many benefits.  It's so hard though, when what you want to do is anything but be thankful. I don't know what it is about the holidays. Thanksgiving was hard. There were only 6 of us around our dining room table. We will sit around that same table in less than a week. We will have a few more people, but I've learned that it isn't just about having a lot of people, but the right people. 

I was looking for a song to post and wouldn't you just know it; I found this one ("Go Rest High On That Mountain" by Vince Gill).  Sometimes I feel like I'm "supposed" to have it all together.  I thought I was almost done grieving, but the more I try to stuff my feelings, the more difficult I am to live with; trust me on this one! 

Thank You God, for counting our tears and giving us comfort through music.  I'm so very thankful. I found comfort at the end of this video tonight. I'll never forget singing this with those few of us left behind, gathered around my brother that night.  I guess what I really just needed was a good cry.