Forgive Me.

As I reflect on 2012 I wouldn't want it to end without asking forgiveness from all who I've hurt in any way this year.



All my Love,
Angie

2012 A Year in Pictures

It started in January Fun w/ Ally & Stacey

In February I turned "50"

We celebrated in San Diego area w/ Bouchards.

The last night of my "40's."

Golfing in California.

Golfing w/ Sweetie & Sue

My Really Surprised 50th Party! 

In March-Hosted Triplets Shower w/ Kimberly for Caroline

May- North Carolina for John's Graduation

Happy Graduate

Celebrating John's Graduation.

Meghan & Michael Home for one of many weddings!

Wish I would have used this for Christmas Party but humble John wouldn't let me!

Lincoln on the search for one.

April- Huatulco w/ John and Linc

Memorial Day in Harbor Springs w/ Mom Baylis

June- Hosted Jenny's Wedding Shower w/ Mary & Pam

July- Road Trip Maine & Vermont

Road Trip started in Niagra Falls

July closed on "Fish Cottage"

Breaking in the cottage w/ Stacey

One of my favorite Summer Pictures John/Chris/Christopher

Fun out at the Lake w/ Gang!

Love this one w/ Joe/Jake/Naze

Bragging that I got up on one ski at Age 50.. :)

Fall Colors on Lobdell Lake

Alex & Linc Fall Clean-Up.

Too small of a Thanksgiving Gathering John/Bekka/Meghan

Lincoln and his mom in Harbor Springs for Memorial Day Weekend

Thanksgiving Day "I Heart NY Run" to raise money for Sandy (per Meghan!)

I wish I had my camera with me at all times!

...to be continued.

We. Are. Truly. Blessed! 

Smiles

How could you not smile looking at my sweet daughter?

I'm up bright and early. After last night's pity-party I couldn't wait to get back on here to let the www know that all is good in my soul. The tears were healing and I believe quite healthy. I can see why some people get tempted by junk food, drugs and alcohol during the holidays to numb the pain and loneliness they are experiencing.  I had one evening alone when my husband was out to dinner with his closest friends and my mind went crazy. I may have taken two baths. Please don't judge me! ;) My nephew works for a company that delivers alcohol and this is his busiest time of year. Go figure. If you are reading this, please join me right now in praying for those who are sad for any reason.

I'm so excited that Meghan is coming home tonight! I'm hoping all goes smoothly for her. It can be challenging to say the least, getting out of New York, especially if the weather isn't completely perfect. I don't take it for granted that although my kids have both lived out of state since college, they have always made it a priority to be home for every single one of the holidays! I am fully aware that it could change at any given moment when they get married, so I'm going to cherish our time together now!! 

Meghan & Michael 

Merry Christmas, everyone! Go make some good memories! 

I'm trying, sis

I have so much to be Thankful for this evening...

-moving trucks heading north with my son and his belongings

-text messages that force me to look for ways He loves me 

-airplanes heading west, carrying daughters home for the holidays tomorrow

-brunch with my girlfriends and making memories

-success with making my very own quiche all from scratch

-that I didn't freak out as badly this time

-dinners with girlfriends in town for the holidays

-family recipes shared by my cousins (milk toast & meat pies)
-little gifts from co-workers

-that when a friend is burdened by something my heart is broken too (sort of thankful)

-finding special notes in my deceased family members' handwriting

-jeans that are especially comfortable today

-Josh's phone message explaining why he and his family can't be here for Christmas

-money for Christmas gifts

-that we have a nice home to host Christmas

-people who lovingly mentor my children

-early morning coffee with John

-chili

-Christmas card photos
-there are a zillion more things I should be listing but I'm paralyzed...

I totally believe being thankful has many, many benefits.  It's so hard though, when what you want to do is anything but be thankful. I don't know what it is about the holidays. Thanksgiving was hard. There were only 6 of us around our dining room table. We will sit around that same table in less than a week. We will have a few more people, but I've learned that it isn't just about having a lot of people, but the right people. 

I was looking for a song to post and wouldn't you just know it; I found this one ("Go Rest High On That Mountain" by Vince Gill).  Sometimes I feel like I'm "supposed" to have it all together.  I thought I was almost done grieving, but the more I try to stuff my feelings, the more difficult I am to live with; trust me on this one! 

Thank You God, for counting our tears and giving us comfort through music.  I'm so very thankful. I found comfort at the end of this video tonight. I'll never forget singing this with those few of us left behind, gathered around my brother that night.  I guess what I really just needed was a good cry.

Kudos

When I just saw this somewhere else I decided that since it's Thursday I better open my eyes this evening.

I went to my sister's house this afternoon. I had to drive right by the house where my brother lived his last days and needless to say, I was flooded by memories. In a strange way I miss those days where my family bonded like glue through it all. I'm thankful for all of the miracles God showed us during that time.

On a totally different note, I'm thankful for quality vs quantity of good friends. It's taken me a long time to get there, but I totally believe in it now.

This next one might sound strange. Driving alone today made me reflect and consider how grateful I am for thank-you notes that don't adequately meet my expectations. It's probably just a matter of my being old-fashioned, but I don't have a lot of patience for thank-you notes written by email or text message. I'm a big fan of snail mail. This week I received one from someone and I was surprised by my reaction. It got me thinking. Is that it? After all I did? Haha. I took it even farther. I thought about the fact that I've also been waiting years and years for someone to tell me they are truly sorry for something they did to me. Although it appears everything all worked out for the good, all these years later, it didn't really according to the book of Angie.  Have I been waiting for them to be on their death bed to tell me? I think so! But what if they don't? What if they don't? That's when it hit me that God is enough. He is all I need. Are you waiting to hear, "thank you for a job well done" or the words, "I. Am. Really. Sorry"? What if I told you that you may never hear those words while you are on this earth? It's taken me all these years to finally become grateful that I haven't. If you are anything like me, don't go putting people on a pedestal; they are only human and they will disappoint you! Could you imagine never expecting to hear, "thank you" or "I'm sorry" again? I want to stop because you know what? God knows the story. Trust me, He knows... and He cares!

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters," (Col 3:23)

Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing..." (Luke 23:34)

“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!" (Matthew 25:23)

His Word is amazing!

there's a new kid on my fridge

Anyone who knows me well knows I don't like clutter, especially on my refrigerator. My sister is shaking her head in agreement right now as she reads this because she knows it's true. If you go to her house you will find hers filled with a lot of different stuff. I am pretty sure it's a control thing. When my purse or house is out of control I feel out of control. All this to say, I will only put something on my fridge if it's super important to me.

I'm only telling you about this because it's a part of my story for this year. I print my blog at the end of the year and I definitely want to remember this date. I'm not sharing it with you because I want any kind of credit, so don't even go there.

My sister and I went to Grand Rapids last Thursday to see, The Story Tour. To say I enjoyed it more than her is an understatement. Satan could have gotten ahold of me as a result, but once again God proved Himself to be much bigger. I think God orchestrated that meeting for several reasons, but most importantly for me to meet this little 11 year-old boy named Jean. My husband and I had talked about sponsoring a child and when I saw the tables with the many packets with all of those kids faces on it, The Holy Spirit made me choose one immediately. I'm not completely sure how we found Jean, but his cute face (Linc loves how he has his top button done!), his birth year (the year Linc and I got married), the fact that his name might mean John in English and I could pronounce his last name were just a few of the reasons. Also, I think Naze picked his packet up first and I wanted to let her be a part of it.

You wouldn't believe how Satan has been trying to sneak in here to steal my Joy about it. I could list several ways, but I don't want to give any thought or energy to such evilness. For a mere $35.00 per month we get to add another family member? Why did we wait so long?! I pray God invades this little guy's life through us. My Christmas gift is the new kid on my fridge and I look forward to getting to know him.

ALL Praise and Glory go to the One who made this possible.
Smiles,
xoxo

p.s. Listen to the song that brought me to tears so many times when my son John was born: "The Greatest Discovery" by Elton John. I remember it like it was yesterday.

"They have made for you a friend...
This is your brand new brother."