I had a situation happen to me last night that I'm still trying to wrap my mind around. Occasionally I will do a random act of kindness when I'm at the grocery store (not trying to get any credit, just telling you the story). If someone in front or behind me has a small basket of groceries (just a few things) I'll buy their groceries. I just tell the cashier to add it to mine. Well, last night I had a very full basket and the guy behind me had one container of oil for his car. When I mentioned to the cashier that I'd like to buy it for him the guy said, "No!" I said, "Come on. Let me buy it for you. I haven't done anything nice for anyone in a long time." Again he said, "NO" (angrily) and marched off to another aisle.
The more I thought about it, could I have embarrassed him? I didn't mean to make him feel like charity and I wasn't judging him. I just had this urge to do something nice... maybe to make me feel good? Did he think I was flirting with him? I had to walk in front of him to leave the store and I saw him talking to someone he knew. It appeared to be a friendly conversation. I felt my heart beating fast and was scared he was going to find me in the parking lot and yell at me. He didn't and everything was fine, but I'm not quite sure what to do now. Was I wrong to do what I did?
I have to keep myself in check. When I give, do I give to make me feel good or them? Lord, I pray I give for the right reason...
It made me also realize it is a LOT harder to accept Love than it is to give Love.
"We love because he first loved us." (1 John 4:19)
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