I've loved them all (& I'll miss them all)

Today was one of those days when nothing seemed to help except Selah. I tried eating a great big "Freak Out" cookie from my favorite lunch spot this afternoon. It didn't help. I can't believe how emotional it's been to leave my office. I came to the conclusion that it probably would have been easier to just disappear when I learned my boss didn't need me anymore if I couldn't agree to working a 40 hour week. I felt like I could start crying if anyone looked at me wrong today. One of my co-workers told me tonight after work that I seem different. I'm trying to be perky, but I'm having a hard time hiding my true feelings. I have one more week before I'm done.

I love my job.

I was trying to get to the bottom of why it is affecting me this way. After all, it's only a job! It's not that I'm overly close with my co-workers. There are only a couple of the original staff left. I just met the new dentist a year ago, so I barely know him... and don't get me started. My former boss is only there one day a week. It's not really the money (although I'm sure this will change very soon when reality sets in). On my way home I was reflecting on the fact that the money was always just a bonus. I didn't work for my paycheck. I know most people cannot even come close to relating to this fact and I probably shouldn't even admit it. I'll stop right here and thank God that money hasn't been an issue for me. I appreciate it SO much! I believe all of us have different kinds of challenges and money isn't really one of mine. I've always had what I need.

I love my patients.

Cleaning their teeth and taking care of their oral health was just something I did on the side while we were getting to know each other better. (But don't get me wrong, I am a perfectionist!) I cared more about their hearts than their teeth if I'm being honest. We killed two birds with one stone. It's kind of like playing a game or doing an activity while spending time with a friend. Over the years they were ALL like family to me and I treated them as if they were my family.

I only told a few of my patients that I'm leaving. I didn't have time to explain the situation; I didn't want to get all emotional and I wanted to keep it professional. But this morning I had to tell one of my favorite patients. She said, "Oh no, I don't want to go the rest of my life never seeing you again." Who says that to their dental hygienist? I don't think anyone has ever given me that kind of compliment! I also had another tell me that I am really the best hygienist and I didn't even tell her I was leaving.

I'm going to miss the relationships with my patients. All of them. I'll never forget praying for so many of them when they shared something that was heavy on their heart and I never told them. We've laughed together and cried together. So many times I've felt like I should pay them when they leave instead of the other way around.

As I drove home from work tonight, this song came on my iPod and it was absolutely perfect. I know it sounds silly to ask for prayers, but next time you go to the dentist to get your teeth cleaned, realize what a gift you are to the hygienist who may care more about your heart than your teeth.



With love and gratitude,
Angie RDH