I was wrong...

So I had this great idea to go to the Hillsong concert alone last night.  When the opportunity to get last minute tickets came up I wanted to "control" my evening by not inviting anyone to join me. I didn't want any distractions because I needed Him alone desperately, so I thought.  (I've been praying for His Will to be done.)  Well, I was wrong and I would not advise anyone to do what I did.  I was able to sneak up and get a seat for one up front in about the forth row.  It was the strangest thing.  I felt completely like an outsider.  For the most part they were jumping up and down and clapping.  It didn't feel right. I didn't feel like I belonged there. I didn't recognize most of the songs so I didn't know the words or the tunes. I couldn't see the screen because everyone around me was raising their arms, blocking my view. They all knew every word by heart. I loved all of the lyrics, don't get me wrong, but there is something about Worshiping Him in the company of someone I love.  To be honest, I began to panic... and cry,  not because I was moved, but because I feel like I am disappointing God with my life.  I panicked more and more during the concert and by the time I drove home I had a stomach ache.  As I closed my eyes I imagined being in Heaven with none of my loved ones.  What if I don't recognize anyone or what if they don't recognize me? Worst of all... What if He doesn't recognize me? And what if everyone there is singing songs, but I can't understand the words?  Will it be obvious to God and everyone that I am a fake?  I sure hope not.

Satan, get the you-know-what away from me!

Please pray for me.  And next time I'm not going to a concert alone!  

Thank you,

Angie