my goal?

I didn't even know what a blog was until 2007. I can pinpoint when God did the miracle in my life... in my marriage... in my heart. I haven't been the same person since back then. I spent the first year or so here writing random stuff that was on my heart. I was on fire for God and saw His hand in all aspects of my life. I was thirsty for His Word and was spending a lot of time searching for just the right verse to go along with where I was or what I saw in my life. It was exciting! I loved searching for just the right song to go along with the posts. I learned how to find other Christian blogs by clicking on names that showed up on Beth Moore's blog and quickly met a lot of new friends. We had a common bond. It was Jesus. It seemed so many women were seeking God's wisdom and seeking Him in their lives just like me. It's hard to explain the connections I found via a blog. This blog! I never would have believed it if I didn't experience it for myself. It's been amazing. It really has been awesome! I met so many of them face to face and became very close to a few of the women. I am still close with them.

Then I started getting a little burned out.

I wasn't getting quite as excited about the conferences and had almost come to a place where I could guess ahead of time what the speaker might say. I don't know if it was satan or what, but I began to wonder if the reason I was so on fire was that I just needed "hobby". I didn't have other interests and I was bored (but had God and these new friends). That's what satan wanted me to believe. He didn't like this new person he saw. This changed person.

Back then my work situation was different. My boss was mentally preparing to sell his practice and retire. Business was slow and I had a lot of time on my hands. We had too many hygienists for the patient-load. Did I use God to fill the void in my life? Was He just a hobby to fill my time since I was a new empty-nester and basically didn't have a life?

Fast forward to my new boss and this business management company he hired to "teach us how to better serve our patients. " (And help our boss pay for his new purchase.) Just yesterday at our day long meeting we were asked about our "goals". My old boss and the new one both answered the question similarly. They both wanted to raise their family and treat their patients to the best of their ability and be able to retire with enough money to live comfortably. They started going around the room asking the rest of the staff. I was nervous about them getting to me! They told us they find it strange that most of the women in the dental offices they work with have no idea about their goals. At what age do I plan to retire and what is my plan to make it happen?

As I was riding my bike this evening with my iPod on softly (with my favorite Christian playlist) I began to think about my goals. What are they? Do I even know? All of a sudden (the Holy Spirit) I vaguely remembered updating the "about me" section on here. I can't remember exactly what prompted me to write that my goal was to make it NOT about me. What would they have said if I told them my goal was to make my life NOT about me? I know I want to be intentional about serving others more than myself. If I died tomorrow I would be content. There is no dollar value I can put on this goal and that's okay with me!

I believe all the time I spent seeking God, He was preparing me for this season of my life. He was not just a time-filler or a hobby. He was preparing me for my future. I have no idea what it will look like, but I know He is with me every step of the way. He was my life. He is still my life. I just need a little spark to get the fire going strong again.

I'm grateful to have this space to work it all out.
In Love,
Angie xoxo



Thank you, my friend Sylvia for this song today!