This is my 314th post and it wasn't until today that I finally "get"it...
These sayings came to mind this morning during my quiet time... "Hurt people hurt people". "Rejected people reject people." "If you don't feel loved first by God you can't possibly love others". "He doesn't love himself, so how does he expect others to love him?" Well, the same is true when it comes to forgiveness. " If I don't feel forgiven, I won't be able to forgive others".
In her book Jesus 90 Days with the One and Only, Beth Moore asked if I have a hard time accepting forgiveness--either God's or anyone else's and what I believed was the source of my difficulty. Usually my focus has been on whether I have forgiven someone, not the other way around. My answer was yes to her question and it all comes down to believing. When I've asked for forgiveness, I really don't believe they forgave me. In my past they eventually left me. I think people say they forgive, but still count it against me and will later use it to reject me. That's where my perfection and approval addiction come into play. I feel I must be perfect because if I'm not they will reject me. By the way, I probably do the same thing to myself when I come up short or disappoint someone. That's getting pretty deep.
It's time for some true healing to take place. That's why I love (and need) God's Word in my life. He is truth. He can be trusted. I found the word "forsake" 82 times in the Bible thanks to Bible Gateway. It's just strange how I am supposed to believe God (who I cannot see) when people (who I can see) have abandoned me when I wasn't perfect.
Mark 15:34
And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"—which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
Even Jesus asked this question. If He felt abandoned and still had Faith in His Father, I guess I can too!
Psalm 94:14
For the LORD will not reject his people; he will never forsake his inheritance.
I am an heir of God.
I'm so thankful for His Amazing Love!
By faith... I want to Believe He'll never leave me or abandon me.
Love,
Angie xoxo
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14 comments:
Amazing Love how can it be- That you my King would die for me!
The thought always leaves me amazed, that HE DIED FOR ME. ME-sinful, ugly,and imperfect me! But HE loved me first! HE loved me - before I even knew of HIM. HE loved me because He saw me worthy to be loved! HE forgives not because I deserve forgiveness, but because of the Love HE has for me. Through my most difficult moments of my life- I knew he was there. Thank you Jesus!
He will never leave you- and guess what- neither will I- you are stuck with me!!!
Angie
He never leaves us or forsakes us which translated into my language - Texan - He hasn't dropped me in the grease and He's not about to start now.
Love you sweet sister.
Joshua 1:5 "I will not fail you or forsake you." Your God is so much more reliable than man. And I am not so sure people like perfect all that much. Being real is a far better quality. And you are genuine and beautiful just the way you are, my sweet friend. Others will hurt, but God is the healer and the One you can trust.
Angie,
Thank you for this post today. My husband and I were just talking about perfectionism and how we both struggle with it. It's amazing how I can see this fault in others and point it out and not in myself. ALthough I do believe I have noticed perfectionism in myself it just comes out different than in others. So, sometimes it's difficult for me to see the perfectionism that I have, because for me, if I feel I will fail at something I won't even try. When others try so hard at something to try to achieve it. I feel like there is one more step for me to take. The first one is that I've realized I won't ever be perfect. Now where do I go from here. I am stuck in a rut of not trying because I will never achieve. Hmmm...I need a little help. How do I pull myself out of this? I've been here for way toooooo long. Help Jesus!
Love,
Nicole
After I just reread my last comment, I realized something. I am a perfectionistic with my faith and I try really really hard, and with other things in my life like my house and such I don't try at all. Hmmm, I think a light bulb just went off. I need to realize I will never be perfect in my faith. I am trying too hard. I don't know how to change this. I don't want to miss anything that the Lord wants to tell me but at the same time I need not be a perfectionist. Wow, I need balance. Help Jesus! Thanks for letting me think through this on your blog and for being a vessel used by Him in your honesty.
Love,
Nicole
Wow. I can truly say I understand and feel as you do. When I've been forgiven and told another understand and all that stuff, yet the person(s) are no where to be found. Hmmm...food for thought. We know forgiveness is not so much for the offended but for the offender to be released. There are some people whom we may never truly receive forgiveness from yet, I don't believe that is a fault of ours but rather a deficiency in that person not able to extend the true forgiveness God asks of us.
I hope that truth brings you comfort. Don't beat yourself up. Other's leaving you is not to be a reflection on you but rather something they may be dealing with or rather not dealing with.
Your a blessing to me, Angie.
Love ya,
Paula
As hard as they are I am glad you got this revelation, You are so loved by God. You are one of those people that others are just drawn too. I pray for his word to move in your life and you just be the vessal willing to recieve.
By the way when you said
"I think people say they forgive, but still count it against me and will later use it to reject me".
Girl you hit me where it hurts, I think those are the words I needed to see some real truth in my own life.
I love you
Lori
Ang,
This post and all the comments spoke to me today and could be my own life!
Forgiveness... I think sometimes the words "I forgive you" are said and not really meant (unfortunately). How many times have we heard someone say to us or to someone else "I forgive you but I will never forget!" I am reminded of David's words in Psalm 103
1 Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. 2 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits- 3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, 5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. 6 The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed. 7 He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel: 8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. 9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever; 10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
~ Psalm 103:1-12
Thank Goodness our Lord does not remember our sins... in Him is forgiveness. We as humans have the capability to forgive - maybe it's difficult to forget, but perhaps it's how we choose to remember.
Great word today Angie!
God Bless You!
K
Oh my, she can sing! Ang, I know I am right there with you on this lesson! It's tough to get it from the brain down into the heart! Thank you for sharing!!
Blessings
michelle
God forgives us and then He chooses not to remember our sins. Because He's all knowing, of course He is aware of our sins even when He forgives us, but He makes a decision not to remember.
I can recall when the truth of "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" became real to me. I was praying for God to forgive me in the same manner in which I forgave others. It shed a whole new light on how I was to forgive, if I wanted God's forgiveness.
Praying God will help me forgive and that He will enable me to make a choice not to remember hurts against me,
Joy
A big hug from me!
Hi Ang!!
Back from camp and doing my bloggy rounds *smile*. I remember a sermon when it was said that when one chooses not to forgive, it's like putting Jesus back on the cross and saying that all that he went through for us did not matter, I surely never want to ever let what the Lord did for me ever be said that it did not matter. Besides forgiveness allows us not to be stuck, it helps us to move forward.
Hugz Lorie
Too many times I try to project my human traits onto God. I guess that's why I struggle with the whole forgiveness issue sometimes.
Don't you just love these revelation things? No matter how difficult they might be, can't you just see God smiling cause we finally got it?
praying for you on your journey, sister.
love you,
karen
Beautiful post Angela!! You have such a precious heart.
Hugs,
Sue
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