For some reason I have gotten behind on my Cover to Cover readings of the Bible. I was going to try to be okay with missing this week and catching up next week. I decided to skim over the readings and God spoke to me tonight. He not only spoke, He spoke loudly. The contents of this week's readings is what brought me to God in the first place and made me so desperate for Him.
In 2 Samuel Chapter 11 David committed adultery with Bathsheba... and then murder. This story really bothered me when I first read it a long time ago. Actually it still bothers me. I don't do well with secrets or betrayal. My ex-husband kept a secret for over 2 years and committed adultery with the woman he went on to marry. To say it was painful is an understatement. It changed the lives of me and my children. I am so grateful for God being my comfort during that season of my life!
Then I read Psalm 51...
For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.
1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.
I spent several years hoping my ex-husband would tell me how sorry he was for all of the pain he caused. To this day I still haven't heard him say he is sorry to me. I wanted him to beg for my forgiveness. Only since I've been in God's Word have I come to realize it doesn't really matter if he ever does. I would rather he get down on his knees and beg God for forgiveness. I've also learned his sins aren't any worse than mine. I've recently tried to express this to my kids. I think it is important they know the truth.
I remember doing one of my first Bible studies on The Psalms and there was a song to go along with Psalm 51... "Whiter Than Snow". Since I couldn't find it, I decided this is the perfect song and expresses what I don't have the words to say.
I am SO glad God had me get in His Word tonight.
Love,
Angie xoxo
14 comments:
Forgiveness is so sweet. His love looks beautiful on you, my friend. What a mighty song! Praising Him with you this evening. Love, Annette
What a touching post, Angie. It is not necessary but would be probably helpful to you if an apology were forthcoming - but, like you said, better he asks the One to forgive - then, I'm sure he'll ask you.
Thinking of you tonight.
I like the way you're thinking about it now. You go girl.
Hugs!
Kat
Angie, you're beautiful what you have done with your life. Look what God has built in you and through you into your family and friends. I am so sorry that has happened to you and it's not right and makes something in all of us rise up to say we want God's very best for you. Love the choices you have made with your life to follow HIM in the midst of deep pain. Your honesty always overwhelms me. Love your heart!
The gracious love and mercy of our Father that has overflowed into your life to bring about such a beautiful heart brings me to tears. You have a beautiful heart Angie!!
Angie,
What a great post. Thank you for opening yourself up by sharing and being vulnerable to that. My heart breaks for your pain but rejoices in the Truth you have found to release you from that.
I see you have since remarried and what a blessing that is.
I have part of Psalm 51 typed in a prayer that I pray over myself and my loved one (my husband but ex legally - I'm sure you've heard the story but I'm standing in the gap believing God for reconciliation.) Vs 1, 2, 10 are specifically the scriptures I pray. There is so much power in praying scriptures...Beth Moore teaches this.
How long ago was your divorce? How long have you since been remarried?
What is your Cover to Cover study? Is it just one chapter of the Bible per week? Is it an outline you found? I would be curious to have it myself.
Love,
Paula
WOW! Now, that was a Word for you Angie! Your heart is in a beautiful place right now and I can't imagine the road its taken to get there. But, I'm giving God some praise today for you.
Press on dear one. Press on!
Hugs~
Fran
Thank you for sharing. "Shout to the Lord" is a song I've been forcing myself to sing as I go through the trials I'm facing right now. HE is so good and nothing compares.
Trusting God,
Sheryl
Angie...
What a powerful post - full of such maturity! I pray too that he falls to his knees some day to ask God for forgiveness... when that happens, he will ask for yours as well - how could he not.
God's grace is working in you dear siesta!
Yes, anyone who asks for God's forgivenss for a sin they've committed, most definitely would/should/will ask for the forgiveness of the offended. It's what I anticipate in my own situation. When the person realizes he/she has done wrong against God, they will know they've done wrong against us.
I love your heart for the Lord, Angie. And I love the way the Word of God and these songs minister healing and refreshment to our hearts. Yesterday our pastor talked about life here on earth being a marathon, not a sprint. And just like those running a marathon need water along the way either to drink or to thrown over themselves, so we need to be refreshed spiritually. That's what the Psalms and worship music do for me over and over again.
Sometimes I can't wait to worship God in eternity! When there is no distractions, pain or worry. If we are loving to worship now just think what it will be like when we are standing at His throne!!
Angie, I am so sorry for all the pain that you have known. My Dad left my Mom for another woman and so I know first hand the effects of adultery on families. It is a sin that destroys many lives and scars so many others. Thank you for being this open and transparent. It is an amazing witness of faith! It's very possible your words are just what someone needs to hear in order to heal...
Take care girl, you are wonderful!
Love,
Kelley
Angie,
That was so tender and dear...I am sure it was a sweet offering to the Lord...don't you love that you were only able to skim over some scriptures and God gave you a word...it didn't have to be chapters and chapters...He is so faithful to take us where we are each week and how much we can give...He meets us and makes up the difference...and in that you gave to us...a beautiful picture of forgiveness and grace!
Love to you dear one,
Helen
Angie,
I can tell that you have suffered through this ordeal...but also that it has given you a chance to grow. Change...and betrayal, and deciet, and hurt of any kind, can either cause us to turn inward and shut down...to keep reliving our hurts and feeding on them and letting them grow and grow till all that is left of us is the bitterness and anger. Or, it can cause us to refocus our outlook. Cause us to step back, reevaluate and look for the message God has for us in it. Because, I do not think He lets us go through the fire without giving us something better on the other side. You are testament to that! Your spirit is sweet and tender...and if you never get that apology...so be it...you got the chance to become the person you are today, and that is worth so much more!
You are welcome to anything on my site...help yourself!
God bless!
Tonja
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