Dear Dad,
Tomorrow is the 3rd Anniversary of the day you went to be with Jesus. It was a sad day for all of us, but it was especially sad for me because I so wanted to be there with my other siblings to send you off. I was there just days before and I helped you into bed that last time. I was there when you talked with your only brother, Uncle Harry for the last time, and I was there with Mom when she told you that the wallpaper was coming off the wall and she asked you to scratch her back. (She was trying with all of her might to give you a reason to hang on for one more day.) I was there when the pharmacist came over to drop off chocolate for all of us. I remember lifting you up when you fell down because you were just too weak to hold yourself up any longer. I was honored to help you go to the bathroom. I'll never forget when I made you listen to one of my favorite songs on my iPod, "Come Home Running", by Chris Tomlin. I wanted you to know that it was okay with me that you had to go. His arms were open wide! You were going to be with Jesus! I was doing my very first Beth Moore Bible study, "Believing God' and I shared some of the things I had been learning with you. I was sure you knew Jesus, and you had faith. You didn't talk a lot about it. You lived His love by example. I still admire that about you. You were such a servant to your wife and you took your marriage vows so seriously. It's hard for any of your daughters to appreciate our husbands like we should because you set the standard so high, perhaps too high. I'm not sure, but you did it your way! Thank you for loving Mom the way you did! I'll never forget the time we were all there celebrating your 50th Wedding Anniversary and while the whole family was gathered, you needed to tell us that you wanted us to always get together and stay close. In these 3 years, I've watched Mom suffer. She is so lost and misses you like crazy. She still doesn't know how to live alone. She's trying, and I know she's exhausted. She'd give anything to be with you. She found a new church, Dad and I am so happy for her! She's tried everything and she is starting to realize that what she really needs is Jesus. We are all trying to give her extra grace, we really are. Your baby, "Goose" is having a hard time right now. She doesn't want to disappoint you because she promised to take care of Mom. She needs a lot of prayers right now.
When Mom and I were driving together last week, we heard the song that was playing as we were leaving the church that day. I still get the chills when I hear it, "I Can Only Imagine". I asked Mom how she thinks she would really react when she sees the face of God and she said she thinks she would be speechless. I wonder how it was for you?
I miss you and I'll always love you!
Your Daddy's girl,
Annie xoxo
p.s. I hope you liked the party we threw for you. The band was just perfect!
20 comments:
Annie,
Thanks for the beautiful words, memories and thoughts. Yes, I certainly miss Dad too, and would trade most anything to have his face to face guidence at this time in my life.
Your blog has changed your life Annie, and I'm so pleased for you. God will continue to hold each of our hands during this journey, and I believe He is gripping mom's tightly as to not allow her to slip away from Him.
I too am saddened for Mom, but I know that having 6 living children to care for her is truly a blessing! Thank you for coming down to visit with mom last weekend, it meant a lot to her.
Don't worry about praying for me, I know I have God's graces which carry me through even the most difficult times as well as the good!
Love you,
Goose
Annie,
Tears puddled on my desk as I read this letter to your Dad. I lost my father---it was just a year ago October 31st and I feel all too well all the emotions you are describing.
We are kindred spirits, my friend. I would love for you to read some about my Dad too in my archives when you have time. He passed away October 31, 2006 just shy of his November 14th birthday. He would have been 79.
Thanks for sharing such a heartfelt letter to your Dad.
Tracey
ang, what a beautiful tribute to the man your dad was. i loved reading about his love for your mom. our mom's really have a rough road now with their life partners absent. just as you wrote, every one of those last moments i had with dad are forever imprinted on my mind, each one precious. God Bless you angie as you walk along side your mom holding each other up during this short time we have together. love you ang. ~janel
Aunt Annie,
I love your letter to Grandpa. He really was such a blessing to all of us and he taught us so much. I miss him so much but i know that he is in such a better place right now.
That song that you put on there, I can only imagine. That is the song that i listen to every time i think about my mom. My mom was so different than Grandpa was with her faith. She wore it on her sleeve and tried to help everybody to find Gods way. She was never scared to die because she said that she knew where she was going and that it was a better place than where we are. Every holiday that passes i think about mom and Grandpa and how they are having such a better holiday than we could ever imagine. I am not as open as my mom was with my faith. I think I am more like Grandpa was and i try to lead by example. I can only hope and pray that when it is my time i can be as strong and as ready as they both were. I know that they are proud of all of us and they just want us to be that loving family that they left behind. I look up to all of my Aunts and uncles and i am so proud to be in this family. I hope that all of you know that even though i am so far away and dont get a chance to talk to you very much.
I love you more.
Maggie
Needless to say, I had to fight back the tears at work. I couldn't read your whole letter to your dad because I know that I would have ended up in a puddle of tears at work. It is so wonderful that your dad was a Christian! I spoke to my dad about Christ, but towards the latter stages of his prostrate cancer, he could not communicate. I pray that he received Christ before passing on.
Thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving such a kind and encouraging comment. I hope that your son does well on the LSAT and is successful in his application to law school :)
I look forward to dropping by your blog again :)
Tears are stinging my eyes! I will certainly pray for your mom. That makes me so sad. Praise the Lord for how much you have learned these past 3 years.
Oh, what a day, my dear friend, what a tribute. I wished I had a few more words to be able to speak to my daddy again. One day we will. He loved you, and you so obviously loved him. Much peace and hugs today, Annette
I love "I can Only Imagine" One more for you today to listen with your heart--"No More Night" by David Phelps. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDQijZ0OpaU
Please know that my heart is truly overflowing with love for you, your family and our GREAT BIG GOD!
I pray for you today and tomorrow.
Please know that we love you too and I can tell just how much you loved your dad and still do.
I bet he watches over you with such joy! He cannot wait for you to be reunited. What a blessing that thought and reality is.
I love you sweet friend.
Hugs~
Fran
What a touching post. I have lost my mother, my mother-in-law, and my sister, but I still have my dad. He is an amazing man with a deep passion for God and compassion for people. I love him so much, and I can hardly stand to think of ever losing him.
What a tribute! My dad left us 11 years ago and my mama,too has 6 living children! We all still miss his guidance, he was the hub in the wheel of our family. Your post made me think of my own dad! God bless!
P.S. when my husband's grandmother died at 107, her great grandson sang that song at her graveside. It is beautiful! I believe I'll be on my face in the presence of our God and Savior!
Awww Ang...I am speechless. That was beautiful. Thanks for sharing your heart.
xoxo
Teri
hey annie,
that was very sweet. thank you for writing it. dad is in all of our hearts and spirits everyday. he was a powerful man in his own quiet way. we were so lucky to have him as our earthly father. love you, nase
Wish I could give you a hug right about now - very difficult day, for sure. Love J
What a beautifully written letter to your dad and I know you miss him terribly. My sweet daddy has been gone almost 12 years - 12 YEARS!!! - and I miss him every day. Thoughts and prayers with you and everyone in your family, dear one.
You expressed your love for your daddy so well. That song is a blessing, as well as If You Could See Me Now....that song got me thru many times of missing my mother. It talks about the person standing tall and whole and not wanting to leave heaven and how we wouldn't want them to leave heaven either.....picturing my mother standing tall and whole fills my eyes..she was pretty much bedfast the last two years of her life. She was sweet and loving to the end. May God bless you and your family as you honor him and remember him and honor your mother as you see about her...she is a very blessed woman...thanks for sharing the beautiful tribute.
Ang, wow, lovely post, and Maggie's reponse was priceless.
Well...you know you've left me speechless, and with a big heavy lump in my throat.
I love you dear sister...and trust His heavy holding hug upon you in these next few surrounding days.
Angie,
A beautiful letter to your father from a beautiful daughter. My father passed on when I was 19 years old. I cry when I hear "I Can Only Imagine".
Love and blessings in Christ--
Somehow I missed this post, but I'm so glad I read it today. What a beautifully written letter to your Dad!
I love "I can only imagine"...what a great song!!!!
Hugs!
Kat
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