Sisters in Christ...
Why is it that we come to a crossroad and have to choose to do the right thing and it is so difficult? I am trying to obey God in a situation, but I always want to take the easy way out!
Let's just say for fun that I have this friend..........
She recently started a new job in a new city. She has met a lot of new people who are very nice to include her in social gatherings. The friends want to go out after work for drinks, appetizers or dinner. She wants to join them, but doesn't make as much money as they do and they want to split the bill evenly. My friend says that when you are out of college it is not appropriate to ask for a separate check. Recently she has found it easier to make excuses so she doesn't have to tell them that she cannot afford to join them. Now... they are all planning a party for one of her co-workers. They are definitely "out of her league" when it comes to the elaborate celebration they are planning. What does my friend do? She doesn't want to seem "cheap"!
I want to give my friend good, christian advice but I am confused as to how to help her.
I would appreciate any words of wisdom from my sisters!
Thank-you in advance!
Angie xoxo
8 comments:
I think honesty is the best policy. She needs to just tell them she's not able to afford it! I've been in the situation before where my group of friends want to split a bill that includes a lot of alcohol that I didn't drink and I simply tell them I'll pay for my portion, but I'm not paying for everyone's alcohol. If they think it's petty, then I don't need to be going out with them.
Could she maybe join them after dinner? This is a sticky one and hard to say.
Thank you for your kind comments on my last post. I love that quote. That is really a new way of thinking about this. I don't think I've ever heard her say that, but it is so full of truth.
So thanks for sharing. I got the new Mandisa CD, so I have something good to listen to while I walk.
Blessings,
Tonja
I agree with Jill about being honest. However if this person feels a bit intimidated by the people or situation she could either
1) go out and just get water - I do that often to make sure I stay within my budget
2) tell the group she can only contribute 10 dollars to the bill assuming she did not spend more than that (or whatever dollar amount she has budgeted)
As far as the party goes I would tell the co-workers with enthusiasm that the party sounds great and that you want to help with whatever party planning or preparation but that your budget only allows you to contribute X amount of dollars. Most people really do understand and appreciate the honesty.
I hope that helps :)
Love ya,
Kim
I agree with "honesty is the best policy"....she should just say as much as she is comfortable with. It will be hard...because we don't like to feel like we can't keep up....thats a whole 'nother writing....but she should be honest and give as much information and money as she is comfortable doing.
Because, this won't be the last time this type of situation comes around and its better to start off right or you'll find yourself in a mess every time.
Good luck!!
My friend (wink, wink) has always been brought up with "honesty is the best policy". It just gets awkward when she is the new girl on the block! Normally it would be fine, but the city she works and lives is very EXPENSIVE!
She knows the right thing to do, but doesn't like it!
Thanks!
Ang, tell your friend that there's no shame in not having as much disposable income as the next person! The real shame comes in when you spend more than you can afford because you don't think your friends will understand your circumstances! If it were me, I think the best thing would be to tell everyone how excited I would be to participate in this party because I really like so and so, but that I can't contribute more than X amount of dollars. I wouldn't go too deeply into my finances, but there's absolutely no shame in saying something is not financially feasable at this time. I figure my friends, my real friends, are more interested in me participating with honesty than having me bow out because I was too embarrassed to say I'm broke. (But then again, my friends know how CHEAP I can be with my money! lol).
I have never heard of splitting the bill like that (after college) I must not be with it. I just couldn't hang. My friends are all pretty cheap like me :). your children are so cute!
dont you love all of our advice. LOL!!
Post a Comment