Thanks, Goose!

One might ask: Angie, why do you still blog? Why not just journal or get a diary instead? Are you writing to get some unmet needs filled? Are you looking for approval from total strangers or from family members you could just as easily pick up the phone to call or better yet, go grab lunch and have a proper visit face to face? Do you think anyone really cares what you have to say, especially 950 posts later? Aren't you just taking up space in the "cloud" that could be used for something better?

Just so you know, I ask myself the very same questions and I really have no idea.  

All I can come up with is that I blog so I'll remember. And if what I write blesses just one person, that's reason enough for me to share what's on my heart. That one person is you, my little sister. Thanks, Goose for encouraging me once again... from several miles away.  

So you ask what's going on? 

Mom was right when she said that no matter how old our kids are, we will always worry about them. God is working overtime in the life of one of my kids. I heard someone say that it's best to get down on your knees before God breaks your legs. I've never believed it more than I do today. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe God punishes, but I do believe He allows certain things to happen for His purposes as part of His perfect plan. I'd give anything to have him fall to his knees and surrender his life.  I'm not sure how to pray for him. It reminds me of when Dad was in his last days. I didn't know if I should pray for God to perform a miracle or for Him to just take him. I felt sort of guilty asking God to take him. I had the same conflict going on in Dave's last days. I so wanted him out of pain, but that meant he would be gone from our lives. It was pretty obvious that a miracle was out of the question. 

My child needs a lesson in humility. If he gets what he wants right away, he will think he did it, instead of knowing it was only by God's grace. I want him to trust God more than I want him to get what he wants.  There, I said it. It is so hard to watch him struggle. It feels like I'm watching him learn to tie his shoes for the first time. I so want to just do it for him, but this time I can't. I can see why parents protect their kids and want to "save" them, especially when I have a friend who is trying to heal from something I cannot fathom. She's the one whose son committed suicide. How do we know if they can survive the pressure? I guess that's my real question. Do I trust God with my son? I have no other choice but to trust Him, but it's hard. 

Let's pray for our kids, okay? 

I'll see you soon!