FAITH-fulness

"The Lord speaks; many many women spread the good news" (Psalm 68:11 NET)

I was blessed beyond measure by my favorite Bible teacher, Beth Moore this past Saturday. I really wanted to participate in her simulcast but didn't think it was going to be possible since I had company. My husband was going to be out of town and I was helping my friend, Meg celebrate her big birthday. I didn't want to trade my real-life friends for my computer. Something in me (The Holy Spirit and prayers from a friend) had me go ahead and sign up for it even though it was going to be a long-shot. My friends ended up leaving 15 minutes before the simulcast started. I sat all alone with no distractions in front of my computer with a pad of paper, a pen, my  Bible and a very weak internet connection. Long story, short God orchestrated a sweet meeting with Him and 150,000 other women. I could almost cry thinking about it now. He knew it was exactly what I needed.

How did Beth know my blog had turned into "by Angie" instead of "By Faith... Angie?" God spoke so clearly through her.  I realize I've been plowing through life this past year or so, acting as if I am "just fine." Well, you know what? I"m not "just fine, " although it may appear that way if you look at my FB page. It reminds me of a time just before the bottom fell out of my life back in 1993. I remember telling my sister how unhappy I was, although I had everything. I had the husband, two beautiful kids (the boy & the girl), a golden retriever, a good job, a beautiful house, took many trips and basically had a great life (from the world's perspective). I felt like I should have been content, but it wasn't long after that, that I learned my life as I knew it was ending. Who would have known? God did... and He more than carried me through that rough season. As I look back I couldn't have gotten a better gift. He was and still is the perfect gift. I didn't even know He was what was missing in my life.

Fast forward...  I've been trying to convince myself that I was "just fine" after I lost my mom, my job and then my brother. I also lost my forties. Since then I have been jumping from one thing to another with a fake smile on my face.  When I look at a picture taken at our new cottage (my dream come true!) I can't help think I should be "just fine" and appreciate all I have. Don't get me wrong, I do love it; I've had an amazing Summer. I'm praying we will make many memories there and I hope one day I will watch my grandchildren play there, God-willing.  But there is more to life than having everything I want. Because if I have everything I want than I need a bigger life. I need to get out of myself and start serving others!! This isn't about being content either. It's about sharing the love of Christ.

I had lost my desire to share what God is doing in my life. I let satan convince me that nobody really cares if I share my stories about what He's doing in my life. I let fear and approval stop me from writing.

Beth spoke to all women, A-Z.  She prayed over each one of us. I know that sounds strange through a computer, but I received it. I want to put the Faith back into my life and my blog. I don't ever want to stop looking for God. He still performs miracles and I'm going to keep asking. I believe He can heal my heart from the losses. He will never leave or forsake us. And, I don't want to be "just fine." I want way more!

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10)




In Christ Alone,
A.