flat tire

Last weekend I heard our pastor say something that I had probably heard before, but this time it not only stopped me in my tracks, but I can’t get it off my mind. I’m positive it was not an accident.

He said, “Some people use God like a spare tire. They only use Him when they need Him and when they are in trouble.”

As I laid in bed this morning trying to force myself to sleep in I thought about this past year. I’ve been one of “those” people but I’m even worse off. I had a flat tire, but didn’t even think to use the spare. I kept it in the trunk. Have you ever seen someone driving a car with a flat tire? It eventually wears down the rim and does major damage to the wheel and causes the car to swerve off to the left or right. If everyone drove around like that there would be chaos and accidents everywhere.

Some might think it’s best to hold it all inside, but I don’t believe it’s healthy. What am I hiding anyway? I’m going to take a risk and let you in on some of the “stuff” that probably started with a slow leak, but turned into a blow out.

It started in January when I went to the Siesta Memory Celebration weekend in Houston. I recited all 24 of my verses but can’t remember them today. I guess I knew them in my head, but obviously not in my heart.

“The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away.” (Matthew 13:20-21).

In January I also learned that my boss had sold his practice. I had no idea what kind of changes were in store. I was scared about my future. I thought about a million “what ifs”!

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV).

In February I had a major falling out with one of my best friends. It was over our sons. I felt sorry for mine having to move to a new apartment right in the middle of his semester and it was complicated. Instead of calling her to discuss the situation I took the easy road and wrote her a letter. To say it got ugly is an understatement. I still regret it today. She's not the only person I've hurt with my words.

“As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.” (Psalms 103:13 ESV). “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4)

In March I was told, “You can teach a monkey to clean teeth. You are a s****person whether you like it or not.” I also learned about “think sheets, clarifications and goals.” Are my priorities in the right order? Do I have a clean conscience? Am I trusting God for clarity and the real goal?

“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 3:13-14).

This past Summer I went to a couple of weddings. I watched a couple of marriages completely fall apart and one that is still hanging on by a thread. Did I really get on my knees and pray for them and did I do what I could to encourage them? What about my own marriage. Did I put in the effort to respect my husband even when I didn’t think he deserved it? I have fallen short, and I’m sure I haven’t gone to God.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,” (Hebrews 10:24).

Change...
We had a tree fall on our house and it caused us to make some necessary changes. At work there have been so many changes. I miss my old boss and my former co-workers. I recorded at least 50 hours of continuing education. My brain has been stretched but I’ve learned so much. I have had all of my old amalgam fillings changed to white and hardly recognize my mouth when I open it. My body is changing in front of my eyes. What used to be right on schedule is very unreliable. There have been new additions to our family and in September I lost my mom. It’s hard enough to lose one parent, but to lose the other one is completely different.

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8).

Lord, You are not my spare tire.  I can't fool You. I don't want to keep driving with a flat tire. It's too exhausting and has caused too much chaos in my life. Please forgive me and heal those places that I’ve damaged because I tried to go it alone in 2010. Help me look to Heaven in 2011. You’ve given me the gift of Your Word and I believe with all my heart that it keeps me on the right road. It’s a smoother ride with You. Thank you!

In Jesus’ name.
Amen.