Hey, Friends!
I had a conversation with someone close to me almost a week ago and I can't stop thinking about it. She asked why I question my faith so much on my blog (and in life in general). She wondered why I can't just have "blind faith". She reminded me that everything has worked out just fine in my life and I should just trust that in the future everything will still be okay. I told her that I am trying to build my faith in case I get the dreaded diagnosis my sister and dad received.
What I didn't tell her was this... There's so much more. I know I believe in God, but I have a deep desire to know Him and Believe Him. I want to trust Him in the big things and the small details. I believe He wants to have a relationship with me ...and you. He wants to be involved in the day to day events in our lives. He wants us to talk to Him when we are freaking out about this or that. I love how Beth Moore says we should "tell on people" to Him. I get so tempted to gossip. I know it isn't right. Our secrets are safe with Him.
I want to know Him in a way I wasn't able to know my own father. I knew him, but I didn't know him as well as I could have. He was a quiet man and I regret not having more time alone with him to appreciate him more. My sister told me my dad heard this song on the radio and it made him tear up at the thought that his kids would feel this way. He never heard the words, "I love you" from his parents. Isn't that sad? I don't want to miss out on having a relationship with God.
"My determined purpose is that I may know Him that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person..." (Philippeans 3:10-Amplified version)
I guess what I'm trying to say is "blind faith" is just not enough. I need a relationship. There... I feel better!
Have a great weekend! Tell your kids you love them!
Love,
Angie xoxo
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8 comments:
Wow! Ang this really hit close to home. My dad and your dad may have been related. Mine died when I was 33 years old, I loved him dearly and wanted so much for our lives to be different, but they never were. He tried, but these things didn't come easy to him. He had been abused as a child living in an orphanage, sexually, emotionally and physically. This caused a lot difficulty with intimacy of any kind. I knew he loved me, but I never felt loved by him, if that makes sense. I have sense come to terms with this and forgiven him for not being able to be the father I needed because I know he really didn't know how.
The other part you write about...you are already there. Blind faith, I must think on that one. I do believe the Lord wants us to be real and tell him the truth not deny or ignore it. He touches us when we relate to him in honesty. I love your posts when you talk about your struggles because they are so real and human and authentic. Just keep being you Ang. Your openness gives others courage to be more open also. You are loved xoxo
WOW! Loved this post on so many levels. We do need our roots of our faith down. Blind faith sounds great but not sure it has much meat to it.
Cried through this whole song, I am sure I need not remind you of all the reasons. ha
Love ya! Thanks for being transparent.
I too had a father who couldn't express his love.... it's so sad, cause we all need to know we are special.... that's why the love of our Heavenly Father is so important to us...
I'm glad you're my friend...
I am so blessed to have a father who loves my sis and I with such gusto. He tells us everytime we see him. He never fails to tell me how proud he is of me and that is wonderful to hear even at my age.
What a great post Ang. I long to know God in ways I don't know my earthly Father as well.
And, I just saw your b-day is Valentine's Day...my baby's b-day is V-day too...best Valentine I ever got!! I will be here with you to celebrate (along with everyone in the world)...You're worth it!!!
Oh Ang... How I love your sweet heart.
You are so right... we need so much more than a blind faith. We need a living faith. A faith that trusts in all things, one we can go to when we are weak and question... How many times do I confess "forgive my unbelief". Beth's "Believing God" study changed my life. I do believe Him... and when my humananess kicks in... I know I can go to Him and He will make straight my path. When I read your posts, I do not see that you question your faith at all... I see that you are being challenged and your faith is growing. It's so easy to try and trust our own understanding... but isn't it wonderful that when we toil in this way the Spirit convicts us that we can't do it w/our our God!
You do have a Living Faith my friend!
Love you,
~K
Great post. Since I did not make it back to the hospital in time to tell dad one more time I loved him, I prayed for the Lord to tell Him. The Lord is not bound by life and death here on earth and by asking Him, I was not trying to contact the dead. I know He did it for me. I know my dad knew I loved him because we frequently told each other. We must tell our Abba Father, our dear Heavenly Father how much we love Him and His precious Son.
Believe Him and profess your belief to Him.
Sorry this turned into a sermon.
Have a blessed Sabbath...worship Him for Who He is!
Love, Annette
Great points! I think if we are honest, most of us struggle with faith in some area. While I have never doubted that God is real and that He loves me, I sometimes struggle with recognizing that His will is sovereign and He is always holding me in the palm of His hand. Of course, I realize that the fault is mine. I think I put my security in things other than just Him. I'm fairly certain that a relationship with Him will weather the storms of life much better than a "blind faith". And perhaps blind faith comes after a lifelong relationship with Him.
love you girl!
karen
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