As an empty nester, I'm now working on filling my nest again...
6.05.2017
17. His Presence is the best Present. It's such a gift that I'm noticing more and more is not received by all of His children.
"Holy Spirit" by Francesca Battistelli There's nothing worth more
That could ever come close
No thing can compare
You're my living hope
Your presence, Lord
I've tasted and seen
Of the sweetest of loves
Where my heart becomes free
And my shame is undune
Your presence, Lord
Holy Spirit, You are welcome here
Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere
Your glory, God, Is what my heart longs for
To be overcome by Your presence, Lord
Your presence, Lord
There's nothing worth more
That could ever come close
No thing can compare
You're my living hope
Your presence, Lord
I've tasted and seen
Of the sweetest of loves
Where my heart becomes free
And my shame is undone
Your presence, Lord
Let me become more aware of Your presence
Let me experience the glory of Your goodness "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and and self-control. Against such things there is no law." -Galatians 5:22-23
Sitting around the kitchen table talking with my sisters for hours, and the memory of my mom doing the same thing with her sisters.
Grateful that I didn't have to go through some of the stuff they did.
That my youngest sister was able to come to town by herself, so we could have some uninterrupted time together.
The comment Naze said, that Meghan's room upstairs was so zen-like.
Having the house to myself for a long weekend while L. was in Vegas celebrating his 50th with Barney.
How beautiful our lawn looks in the Spring.
The hydrangeas that Rich & Reg shared with me from their garden and the fact that it's possible to split them and it won't take away from their plants, but add to mine.
Beating my brother and his best friend at golf the other day.
Home cooked meals, especially when someone else does the cooking.
That any health concerns thus far have never been life or death for me, just annoyances.
The 3 "Wising Up" videos on being a good wife and mom that I watched and took notes.
The serum I bought to help with my wrinkles (haha).
The birthday celebration breakfast for Nancy.
The birthday lunch at the Tea House in Rochester for Paula.
Our new staff coordinator at BAH and all she is doing there.
That I still wouldn't want to live anywhere else than here... after 31 years.
"It is good to give thanks to the Lord, and to sing praises to Your name... to declare Your lovingkindness in the morning, and Your faithfulness every night." -Psalm 92:1-2
A few weeks ago my co-workers and I were talking about our marriage proposals. They were all actually pretty funny and none of them were recorded on camera or video. They were NOT social media-worthy. (I would actually love to see a youtube video of any of them!) Did that mean they weren't as deep, meaningful or legitimate? I don't think so, although I have to admit that mine was a little embarrassing; and no, I'm not about to share it here. I think there is something missing today in a world where most everything is done for the whole world to see.
I do love how a certain guy did something the old-fashioned way by asking us if he had our blessing before he asked her to be his wife. It was definitely a precious moment that I'm sure we'll never forget. And for the record, he asked her in private with no cameras rolling.
With happy tears rolling down our cheeks.
Love,
A.
It's been quite a week on a lot of levels, but I think I'll focus on the fact that I turned 55 this past Tuesday. I'm so blessed to have such a great family and friends who helped me celebrate. Having a birthday on Valentine's Day is kind of nice. Everyone always seems to be in a good mood and love is in the air. (Think: chocolate and flowers!) It's usually difficult to get dinner reservations, but we were lucky to get in to one of our favorite spots for an impromptu dinner with Patty and Tom.
Fifty-Five.
I'm thanking God for my health. I really don't feel any different than I did when I was 25. Well, except when I look in the mirror and see my mom. (Smile lines of course!) I'm trying to embrace these wrinkles, especially on my neck. I know it sounds vain, but they really do bother me. I find myself telling total strangers to learn from my mistakes and put sunscreen on their neck as well as their face. I have to make a conscious effort to pretend I'm okay with the aging process. I know it could be way worse.
I am so fortunate to have my health and I do not take it for granted. I have already out-lived two of my siblings. (This just felt like the first time I heard the news. How could I have lost a sister at 43 and a brother at 52?) Anyway, I can pretty much do anything I want to do physically.
But what about mentally? I like where I'm at on the inside and I'm pretty comfortable in my skin, although I still feel like a 12 year-old about some things. I can't seem to think of anything specific right now. Haha! Stay tuned next week!
I don't really have any earth-shaking ideas about what I want to do to this next year that will make a difference. I'm hoping I can help my daughter plan her wedding. Is that shallow? Seriously though, I don't want to interfere but I want to be there for her if/when she needs me. I'm looking forward to this next stage of life, and being the best mother-in-law I can be.
Let's see... what else? This is us (last Fall). We are still trying to "get it." And... Isn't it weird how when a photo is taken we don't like it at the time until later when we look back and think, "I didn't look so bad back then?" Anyway, this was one of those times and it was taken on our road trip. We always enjoy getting away and making new memories.
Here's to being more grateful this year and more appreciative for all of the gifts God has given me. Honestly, I do not take any of this amazing life for granted. I don't understand how mine can be so good when others have such a difficult time.
I was talking with my friend the other day when she so lovingly went with me to Detroit to check out a wedding venue for my daughter and her fiancé. She treated me to a wonderful early birthday brunch afterwards. Kimberly is younger than me and inspires me whenever I'm around her. She's truly amazing! As we were talking over coffee and then driving home, she was telling me that there are not enough hours in the day for her to get the things done that she wants to get done. She has set some major goals for herself. As much as I wanted to relate with what she was saying I couldn't.
I was telling her how frustrated I've been with myself and my problem with wasting time on my phone looking at social media. She asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks: What hole am I trying to fill and is it serving me? Is it helping or hurting me? Am I using it to escape or hide from something? Am I growing and learning new things that will benefit me as a person? The answer is a great big... NO.
I've been in a rut. What has changed? Not a lot really, but I haven't been blogging... At. All. Why not? Because I don't have anything to say. Because who really cares about my silly life? I'm just like everyone else, going through life one day at a time. What's so special about me? In five, ten, or fifteen years who will really be interested in anything I have to share?
My friend helped me realize I have a block, and I am determined to get past it. I am committing to get back in the habit of writing. I believe it will be good for me. The truth is that whether I like it or not, I am ten steps behind someone else. Perhaps they are older and wiser than me and may have experienced some stuff I haven't yet; and at the same time I am ten steps ahead of someone else as far as what I've been through. Hopefully I have some wisdom I can share. I have learned some big lessons in my 55 years (this Tuesday) and maybe if I am open, vulnerable and risk sharing some of them, I may just be able to help one person.
Get ready to find some blog posts here. My goal is to write at least one post per week. I have no idea what I will share. If I can't think of anything you may just see that I've written about how well I can clean an oven.
As always and hopefully with more Faith than ever,
Angie
Truth is harder than a lie
The dark seems safer than the light
And everyone has a heart that loves to hide
I'm a mess and so are you
We've built walls nobody can get through
Yeah, it may be hard, but the best thing we could ever do, ever do
Bring your brokenness, and I'll bring mine
'Cause love can heal what hurt divides
And mercy's waiting on the other side
If we're honest
If we're honest
Don't pretend to be something that you're not
Living life afraid of getting caught
There is freedom found when we lay
our secrets down at the cross, at the cross
Bring your brokenness, and I'll bring mine
'Cause love can heal what hurt divides
And mercy's waiting on the other side
If we're honest
If we're honest
It would change our lives
It would set us free
It's what we need to be
Bring your brokenness, and I'll bring mine
'Cause love can heal what hurt divides
And mercy's waiting on the other side
If we're honest
If we're honest
I wanted to run to the mall to make a couple of more returns, but I can't do anything before I write this end-of-the-year post.
It has been an amazing year all around. My husband and I went on some amazing vacations last Winter. We justified it because we had sold our cottage and felt very free, especially being empty-nesters. We spent a week in Florida visiting friends in Bradenton and Naples; saw Cuz. DeNaze; drove down to Key West, then spent a couple of days on Marco Island. We went skiing in Colorado and I was able to visit Meghan in California. My favorite memory was probably when L. called me on my lunch hour to ask if I wanted to go to Aruba the very next morning. It was crazy that I was on a plane just a few hours later! Wow! As I re-cap, I feel a little guilty that I'm bragging. Sorry! I appreciate how hard my husband works so much! Oh, I almost forgot to add that we met Meghan in San Francisco, then drove to Napa Valley in the Fall! Oh gosh... I need to stop now!
In February I decided on my birthday that I wouldn't buy any clothes until my next birthday. I failed one time, but for the most part I did well. It was way easier than I expected. I received some beautiful pieces for Christmas, so I will easily make it to February!
In June my firstborn turned 30! I can't believe it! How did that happen? The tears of Joy that I experienced from her when we surprised her and joined her Dad's side of the family (Super classy move on their part!!) for dinner at a restaurant was priceless. I will never forget it!
She is in love and that makes me happy... SO happy! So far I haven't seen any red flags.
Lucky reached out to her and offered her a new job and she accepted. She wanted a new challenge and I admire her! Seven for all Mankind will surely miss her!
John met someone special and has been seeing her for a few months. He introduced us to her... and that's HUGE! She seems very sweet, smart and confident! He is enjoying his job and is getting rewarded for his excellent work ethic.
I loved re-connecting with my children's Granny this year. I tend to get disappointed when my kids aren't included in my husband's family. God helped heal my heart by having me go for a visit to Granny's in Birmingham and see her apartment full of photos of my kids all around. It did my heart well to know that they are loved unconditionally and deeply by their own Grandmother! I always knew she loved them, but it was different. She still loves me and I just need to say that it feels great! Who would have thought? God didn't give me what I wanted a long time ago, but He gave me what I needed this year!
I shot a 40 (almost 39, but I missed a careless one foot putt!) in golf this past Summer and I'm still happy! John helped me with my swing and I played a ton of golf and it was so much fun!
We celebrated my oldest living sister's 60th birthday in Chicago, and my youngest sister's 50th birthday in North Carolina. My sister bought a new cottage (Dune Days//Sunset Nights) in Mears, Michigan so we played and celebrated her double nickels (55th) birthday at the Sand Dunes. My brother's divorce was final and I'm still sad about it. I can't wait to see how everything comes together for the good, and see how God shows His hand in it from here. Please pray for his children. Thank you!
On a sad note, my boss had to have treatments for throat cancer. We all tried to pitch in and help, but it was very hard to watch him suffer. Thank God he is doing much better now! I still love my job! I seem to squeeze it in between all of the fun we've had!
Our Church (Kensington Community Church) finally opened in our hometown. We had been waiting for years and years for this and we couldn't be happier to have our church in Clarkston! I am on the usher/greeter team and it's the perfect job!
I loved that last year on New Year's Eve we were at dinner with our kids and we all decided on our word for 2015. They were as follows...
Linc's was "Christ-like." I believe with all my heart that this year he was the best husband he has been since our wedding. Our relationship has grown so much deeper and I'm so sure it is because of him; not me. This next year we will celebrate 15 years of marriage. We are so blessed.
Meghan's was... "Grace" and John's was... "Brave." I'm so proud of each of them!
My word was "Focus." I also had a few other words, but I can't even remember what they were right now. I know that this year I was more "fully present" than I have been in the past, especially around Christmas. I want to be even more this next year.
My word for 2016 is "Smart." I want to read more books; listen to NPR; make smarter choices regarding my health, especially eating way less sugar and drinking more water; I want to learn how to use my camera; and be smarter about how I treat those people God puts in my path; I want to be more humble.. and generous... and thoughtful... and kind; I want to start my day the smart way, in God's Word.
My song for 2015 has got to be this one by The Rolling Stones. I know; you were expecting some Christian song, but in light of my healed heart regarding my precious children this year, it had to be "You Can't Always Get What You Want." :)
I hope and pray God reveals Himself to you in 2016 and you are blown away by His Goodness. Be kind to each other!
Here's to a New Year of Gratitude and Good health!
Love,
Angie xoxo
