Onceuponcatime...

It's Thursday!

This morning as I was driving it occurred to me that yesterday was the anniversary of the day my dad passed away. I thought back to the day we lost him and I recalled exactly where I was when I spoke to him the last time. I was at my friend, Lisa's house for a skating party. I was with Dad the previous weekend and unfortunately, I couldn't be there that Sunday. My siblings put the phone to his ear when I told him my last goodbyes and told him how much I loved him. I remember thinking how I wanted to make sure I told him everything so I wouldn't have any regrets. I don't have a clue how I hung up the phone that afternoon.

Lisa and I had a real good heart to heart yesterday and I hadn't even realized the date. It wasn't until this morning as I reflected on our sweet conversation. I'm calling it a "God-wink." Lisa helped me feel better about my current concerns and for that I couldn't be more grateful. Our relationship is one that is divine to say the least. I could write about it, but I wrote about it years ago. Plus, this post isn't about Lisa or me; it's about my dad.

First of all, satan would love for guilt to set in. How could I have forgotten? How could I have forgotten Dad? For a second I thought about how difficult it is to remember birthdays let alone 2nd birthdays when loved-ones passed away. There are too many! When you are from a big family it's almost impossible to remember.

It is not a coincidence that just yesterday, I picked up the book, Onceuponcatime (I can't remember why the title was spelled that way). It's a book our family put together back in 2000. For Christmas that year all of our family contributed their story about anything they wanted to share. It's very cool. I decided I'm going to take it to the cottage so I can read it out there. Earlier yesterday morning I was thinking about the blog books I had written and printed. I wondered if anyone would ever care to pick them up when I'm long gone. I was reminded about my dad's portion of our family's book and how I never took the time to read his part. Honestly, I still haven't read it. I could be totally wrong, but from my recollection he used run on sentences with little punctuation so much that I had a difficult time reading it without editing it in my mind. I didn't have the patience. Now I feel terrible, so please don't judge me. As I was flipping through the pages I read my sister-in-law, Stacey's part where she explained in detail about how she met and fell in love with my brother, Chris. It was very sweet. I also read my son's part where he said all he wanted in life was to be a professional golfer and have a family. Meghan's was adorable as well! I'm anxious to read the book from cover to cover. It will be a gift all these years later! I'm so grateful for everyone who went all out and took a lot of time to write! I'm going to beg everyone to add Part II to the book for Christmas next year. It's early, guys so start now!! :)

Onceuponcatime...

I had the greatest dad who ever lived; he was the most patient man I know; he was quiet and said few words; when he spoke though, people listened; he chose his words wisely; he rarely got angry; he was kind and generous; he laid down his life for his wife and his children; he taught me common sense; he could fix anything; he had a great sense of direction; he worked two jobs to provide for us; he loved my mom (even when she seemed unlovable) and taught me the true meaning of commitment and "til death do us part;" he never complained; he wasn't demanding or selfish; he was beautiful; he had so many good qualities and I will never forget him for as long as I live and I am so grateful God gave him to me! How is that for a run on sentence?!

I love you, Dad (Papa) and I'm glad I know exactly where you are today!




Annie

loving the clarification

What I learned today in Bible study made it worth every dime I spent, as well as all of the time I have spent studying so far. If I didn't learn anything else, I would be totally satisfied.

I had always been confused and troubled when I read Exodus 20:5-6 which says, "You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments."

It has never seemed fair that God would punish me for my parents' sin and the sins of my grandparents and great-grandparents. For the record, mine were all gone before I was old enough to know them and I have no recollection of any of them. I know, it's kind of sad, but that's a whole other blog post. Anyway, doesn't that bother you too?

Apparently, the word "punish" in this verse does not mean God will punish me. I know what that word meant to me as a child and it certainly has nothing to do with what I learned today. I am going to trust Beth's explanation and I have no desire to do my own word study (especially because I like how she explained it). I guess its meanings are "inspect, review, number." It was the Hebrew word "paqadh" and was used for taking a census. He can count the people in our family line who have been affected by the sins of our parents and grandparents etc. By sins, I mean instead of relying on God when life got hard, they may have used _____. I can't even pinpoint what those might have been for mine, but I think I may have an idea and it makes total sense to me. I'm not bashing my parents by any means, just taking a closer look to make sure I don't get tempted to do the same, by putting anything above Him, especially when the going gets tough! I also want to teach my kids (and grandchildren) to rely on Him. I need anyone reading this to know that my parents influenced my life in a very positive way, so I am thanking God for them right now.

I am also very glad that His Word tells me that He is not jealous of me, but He is jealous for me. And, it really makes me feel loved.

Praying in the "Moment"

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." (1 Cor 10:13 NIV)


"But we'll never make it to our milestones if we can't make it through our moments." (-Beth Moore, Breaking Free.)

Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son
Stop fighting a fight it's already been won"

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I'm redeemed

All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head"
I remember, oh God, You're not done with me yet

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be

Because I don't have to be the old man inside of me
'Cause his day is long dead and gone
Because I've got a new name, a new life, I'm not the same
And a hope that will carry me home

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, 'cause I'm not who I used to be

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, yeah, I'm not who I used to be
Oh, God, I'm not who I used to be
Jesus, I'm not who I used to be
'Cause I am redeemed
Thank God, redeemed

(Redeemed by Big Daddy Weave)

Thank God He isn't done with us yet. :)
In His Grip,
A.

In His Grip

When I share what I learn in this amazing Bible study it feels like I am sharing the best movie I have ever seen in my life... and I really don't want to spoil it for you. I am not kidding. It is THE BEST I have experienced and I love that it's not just a two hour movie I will put on the shelf after I'm finished. I hope to never forget it. My concern is that if I don't share it with you, there is a chance you might not know what you have missed. So, that's why I will continue to share what I'm learning here.

Today's obstacle is getting into my business... Idolatry.

I love how B. Moore never gives details about her own life. I'm a person who likes to hear all about other people's lives so I don't have to look at my own. She doesn't let me do it and in a weird kind of way I'm glad. When I started writing this post this morning I was going to spill my guts about the next obstacle we studied that blocks us from being the person God wants us to be, having a life of abundance and Spirit-filled (You know, the Fruit of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness and Self-Control). Instead of telling you all about my issues, I'm going to just add a picture, so I can be vague on purpose. Today we talked about the fact that God intentionally doesn't let "things or people" (idols) satisfy us. He wants us to need Him. We have an emptiness that can only be filled with Him. I already knew this, but I took a good look at my life and what I have held on to with a death grip and I'm finally letting God peel away my fingers. Satan would rather I believe those things that I held on to would make me happy, but he is a liar. It takes a lot of trust that God will fill those needy places, but I'm choosing to believe He'll always be enough.



In His Grip,
A.

It's not about me... Really!

Today's Bible study looked at the biggest obstacle to glorifying God...

Pride.

I never really understood the meaning of "pride" until I surrendered my life to Christ and started studying His Word. It is wrong to take credit that should go to God, glorifying Him, instead of me. I still struggle with it from time to time (more often than I'd like to admit). It is so natural for us, as humans (not Jesus) to want to have attention directed at us, so people think we are responsible for whatever good happens in our lives. I read something this morning in my Bible study that hit me like a ton of bricks... because it is so true! I haven't been able to get it out of my mind.

I quote Beth Moore in Breaking Free, "Even when we desire the fame of our spouses or children, deep inside we are often yearning for the fame they might lend to us."

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch!

I never really thought about how much time I have spent seeking glory, and sometimes by living through my husband and kids. I'm proud of my husband because of _____. I'm proud that my daughter is doing so well living in the big city, supporting herself by working _____. I'm proud that my son is a _____. I mean, seriously! Somehow I think people will think better of me because of what they have accomplished. Whenever anything is brought up about how well they are doing I should be quick to turn it around and give God the credit. He is responsible anyway... not them... and surely not me! I'm not sure if I explained this well, but I really needed to hear this today.

I have to add more of what Beth shared about what God wants to do versus what Pride does:

"*God wants to get to our hearts. Pride covers the heart.
*God wants to free us from hindrances in our past. Pride refuses to look back.
*God wants to treat us with His Word. Pride doesn't like to be told what to do.
*God wants to set us completely free. Pride thinks he's free enough.
*God wants to bring us out of dark closets. Pride says secrets are nobody's business.
*God wants to help us with constraining problems. Pride denies there is a problem.
*God wants to make us strong in Him. Pride won't admit to weakness."

Further, some people overly admit to weakness and that, in turn leads to pride because it is still all about them... or should I say, me?!? Forgive me, Lord! If you asked me what quality I most admire in people it is hands-down someone who is humble. I can think of a few people off the top of my head who have done great things but never ever talk about it. They are quick to change the subject and turn the attention away from themselves. But, rarely do I hear them say it's only because of God's Grace that I am ____.

The main thing I learned today is that God hates pride. Period. I already knew it, but it was great to study it more deeply than I ever have before. I would love to remove pride completely from my life. Just think about what a different world it would be if there was no such thing. I'm pretty sure it would be a lot like Heaven.

I needed this lesson on Humility. I bow before Him this evening. I hope you'll join me.



In His Love,
A.

"Pisteuo"

The Word of today is " Pisteuo." I can't even pronounce it, but it is the Greek word for believed. It means "to be firmly persuaded as to something, to believe... with the idea of hope and certain expectation."

In my Bible study today's theme was simply asking if I really, really, really believe God can remove the obstacle that is hindering me from having the abundant, spirit-filled life God has for me. I don't mind being honest by telling you my obstacle. It is the addiction of sugar. Do I believe He can remove my desire to rely on it when I am stressed out? I know it when it's happening; I really do. The other day I was trying to install some window treatments. I was very frustrated. Very frustrated! Anyway, I stopped what I was doing and had a handful of these chocolate rocks that were sitting on the shelf. (If I was a smoker I would have gone outside to have a cigarette!) I thought they would calm me down, especially if I stepped away from the project for a minute to regain my composure. I have to tell you that as I look back, they did help; but was it the chocolate or just getting away to breathe for a minute?

For quite some time now, I have believed God in the major areas of my life. I have trusted He has known what He was doing through my divorce (Glorifying Him while initiating an intimate relationship with Him) and in losing my sister, parents and brother. I am 100% confident it was for God's Glory to be revealed and most personally for me to trust that my loved-ones are waiting for me when I join them, plus trusting God to be with me every step of the way until I get there. I also believe Him in my marriage... daily!

But... I have had a problem trusting Him with the little areas that don't seem as important. Most people wouldn't think I have a problem with sugar. I mean, seriously. Don't laugh. It doesn't appear by my picture that I have issues with it since I'm not overweight. Yes, I have my muffin-top but it could be a lot worse! It's annoying and sometimes in my head it is just as big as the major stuff. Sugar is a hard one. It isn't like I'm hooked on drugs or alcohol, but it's my drug of choice. It somehow sounds almost cute to be addicted to chocolate chip cookies, right? Well not if you learn what it can do to me. I have learned how it affects my shaky family history. I have a friend with a similar family history who once told me that it's like he is walking on an ice cube and a banana peel. I feel the same way. I have to be careful.

It's time for me to start getting "Pisteuo." I am going to choose to believe and be firmly persuaded with hope and expectation that I can conquer my addiction with His help. I really, really, really want to rely on Him to calm me down and be with me daily in the little things.

By faith,
Angie

Feeling Satisfied?

My Bible study this morning asked me some questions about feeling satisfied. What does being satisfied mean to me? You might want to ask yourself the same question. To me it means feeling full to the brim with contentment, joy and peace no matter what the circumstances. It might mean something totally different to you.

Is my soul entirely satisfied with Christ or is something not right and I feel empty? Am I "pining" for something in the depth of my soul that is not being fulfilled even though life is going smoothly? ? I think I've been away from Him for so long that I haven't even noticed that I haven't felt hungry or thirsty for Him. As a result, I have been discontent and not a lot of fun to be around. I've been trying to fill myself up with the wrong things and it just plain hasn't worked. Just being aware is the first step in the right direction.

"My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you." (Psalm 63:5)

One of my favorite things to do is eat a nice meal at a nice restaurant. I love fine dining! I also love rich chocolate; actually I don't get it when someone says something is too rich! Starting just yesterday I decided to get back on track regarding the amount of sugar I consume. It is not good for me. Last weekend I made the mistake of making a batch of chocolate chip cookies. I hadn't made any in a long time, but I thought I would be the good mom and wife (yeah right, using them as an excuse!). All I can say is, I ate the majority of them. I can't be trusted with chocolate chip cookies!

When it comes down to it, those cookies didn't make me feel better. They did not satisfy a need I had in the depth of my soul. I only felt guilty afterwards and I was miserable to be around. Ask any of my family members and they'll tell you.

Thank you Lord, for making me hungry and thirsty for You. I know in the depth of my soul that You are the only way to make me the person I want to be, and a joy to be around.

Have a great Tuesday!

If it wasn't too long I would have memorize this one instead.

This morning when I was in search for the perfect verse I totally got off track. It took me WAY too long to find only my second verse of the year! I chose a verse that I could apply to my daily life, but it's those times when it's dark (3AM) that I am wide awake and my mind starts to wander. It's then that I really need a good Word.

I will let you in on where my mind went wandering last week in the middle of the night. When you get my age, you really don't care if people think you are nuts anymore. I was thinking about Jesus and the last supper. I think He was about 30 years old at the time. (I'm not completely sure, but I should research it and get back with you.) Anyway, I wondered how he chose His closest friends to be on His "A" team? Did others wish He would have picked them? Did they feel like outsiders wanting to be in the "in" crowd? I also wondered if He had lived on earth for 50+ years, would He have gotten sick of them or them of Him? I know that sounds strange for me to consider (and the fact that God is perfect and Holy, so probably not). Were His friends there for the long haul? Would they have gotten bored by seeing Him do all of those miracles if He continued doing them for years and years? Would they have gotten desensitized by it all? Was there ever conflict or misunderstandings?

I've also been thinking that God only knows how long we will live here on earth. I don't like change, and I really don't want to lose any more loved-ones... or friends.

"Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." (Colossians 3:12-14)

2013 Scripture Memory #2

"for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." (Phil 2:13) NIV

This verse is a great reminder for me to trust God's Will in our lives, especially regarding job opportunities for someone living upstairs in the same bedroom he lived in when he came home from the hospital. He will give him the necessary guidance that is needed at a time such as this. It's exciting and scary at the same time, waiting on the Lord. I wish I was capable of helping him, but I trust God knows exactly what He's doing here.

Ugh. ;)

Blog-worthy reflections

Last night I spent the night alone at our little cottage. Every now and then it just feels nice to have an evening to myself. I know, I'm a bit of an introvert, but I'm okay with it. When I woke up and looked out the window this morning I saw the most beautiful sight. I didn't take my camera so this is taken with my phone. I immediately thought back to when we lived on a lake growing up and when my dad made us the best ice skating rinks. He spent so much time making them perfect for us. I wish I had a picture. He was so sweet to us. It was warm today and the snow had melted off the ice. I thought about how nice it would be if it got real cold and I could skate forever. Dad would have loved it.

Then I thought about the many times I had fallen while skating and how much it hurt when I fell on my head. The ice is so hard! My mind drifted as I thought about how hard our hearts can be when we are in a "Winter" season. But when we let the light of God in, He can melt our hardened hearts. When we don't allow HIm in we can be as cold as ice to our loved-ones and deeply hurt them. I would rather be warm and loving. When we make the choice to be vulnerable, spending some time alone with Him, there might be a few tears shed because we are disappointed about something, but He can change us and make us beautiful Oh, so beautiful.

Next is the view from another window. I took this picture on New Year's Eve. As I look at so many things I'd like to change (It would only take me and hour to fix them!), I am forced to look beyond them. Instead of focusing on everything that bothers me, those imperfections better not stop me from seeing what is important in the big picture. I need to keep my eyes on what needs changing in my own property... and in my own life. I can't go changing the neighbors (or husband or kids!). It's not my job. It's never my job to change anybody else. Whew, this one is hard! I love the owners, but WOW! I better mind my own business. Honestly though, my tendency to be a perfectionist is being tested big-time!

Now I better tell you that I asked my friends to pose for this one at Bunco the other night. I cannot tell you how much it bothers me when people are not fully present when we are together. I cannot change the way the world is changing, but Miss Manners would not approve. I'm just as guilty as the next girl, but I hope to stop being rude and distracted when I'm with you in person or on the phone. Please forgive me because I will no longer multi-task.

xoxo

Happy Thursday

the list continues...

7- resolved conflict & the safety to be honest
8-that I know that I know that I know that when my imagination goes wild it comes from satan
9-clean white snow and the sun shining on it
10- girlfriends
11- travel plans
12-so many new beginnings
13- laughter
14- kind people
15- the confidence that comes along with being 50 yrs old for almost a year
16- time to ponder my blessings
17- what music does to me
18- that I have hope...
that it's going to be a good year and I will (hopefully) bear more fruit this year than I did last year. I'll be more loving; have more joy; be more at peace; have more patience; be kinder to anyone in my path; be more gentle; have more self-control; be a "good" wife, mother, sister, aunt, counsin, neighbor and friend; and believe God by faith more this year than last.




"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control." (Gal. 5:22-23)

A New Year & A New List to get to 1000 Gifts

1-  I'm thankful that my son opens up to me about things.
2- I'm also thankful for cozy cottages in the winter with wood burning stoves.
3- I'm thankful for how thoughtful Meghan is in regards to Christmas gifts. She is amazing. Did I mention it last week? I can't remember. Anyway, it is worth repeating.
4- It's a weird Thursday because all day today and yesterday I haven't been able to remember what day it is. I think it is because Christmas and New Year's were on Tuesday. I'm thankful for routines.
5- It wouldn't be right if I didn't mention how much I appreciate my husband for continuing to be himself, even when I try like crazy to change him! I don't ever want to stifle that guy or kill his spirit. God made him the way he did, so I need to focus on his many good qualities and take it one step further by mentioning it here. ;)
6- Movies, especially Les Miserables. I just enjoyed it for the second time tonight. I'm grateful that I could afford to treat J. I loved it even more this time when I wasn't distracted.


Okay, there's a start to my new list. I'm going to try to get to 1000 by the end of 2013. It should be easy. I'm going to be a little more random about my list and not just do it on Thursday this year. I have to mix it up a little so I don't get texts from a certain little sister of mine. I appreciated her reminders and encouragement, but I'm hoping I'll be a little more self-motivated. Since I'm the big sister, I need to be a better example.

2013 Scripture Memory #1

I am dedicating 2013 to Scripture Memory. I did it a few years and it was truly life-changing. My plan is to memorize two verses per month, on the 1st and 15th. There is a group doing it together on Beth Moore's blog and I'm going to do it with them to hold me accountable.  Want to join us? If so, you can find her blog here. I find that I am better at staying in the Word on a consistent basis when I apply it to my life, so I'm going to choose verses that I need.

I'm starting out feeling a little pathetic and embarrassed that I even need to memorize this first verse. It probably comes naturally to you! I'm memorizing it because I don't always find it easy to obey God, especially if I'm in a particular mood or am a little bit mad for whatever reason. I'm pretty sure that if I commit this one to memory and action (sort of a New Year's Resolution, too!), my marriage will improve. It's going to be my own little "Love Dare." Feel free to ask me how I'm doing with it throughout the year. Thanks!

"Greet one another with a holy kiss." (2 Cor 15:12) NIV

Sounds easy, right?!

Always,
Angie